Friday, June 12, 2009

Issue-Laden

Ok I lied rant back on.

Worries:
-I haven't had the time (nor, if we're being honest, the inclination) to exercise in awhile. I have, however, had time to eat AND EAT and I'm afraid it will catch up with me sooner that later

-Sometimes, while reflecting about the past three years in preparation for my senior year (WHOOOO!!), I'm scared I'll make the same mistakes in terms of friendships, relationships, etc and let people treat me any kind of way and respond destructively.

-My sisters are growing up before my bespectacled eyes and I hate it. HATE HATE HATE it. Drove Little Sister to her piano lesson and while we were goofing off in the car I totally almost burst into tears because she's about to start high school and then she will probably definitely be too cool for me :-( also, Middle Sister is about to start college and I'm really scared that our personality differences will tear us apart.

-I've been feeling quite insecure lately. Inadequate, lacking, unrelatable almost; even incapable at human interaction. Like, I enjoy being alone but then I like it too much that I'm closed off so even when I want company I'm stuck on my solitary island. An island with lots of books and pretzels, but seldom other people.

-Also it's my last year to find a college boyfriend. Even though, I don't think about it as much as I used to. However, when what has been a central worry is now on the back burner compared to my other worries, I get mighty worried. At least I still have my wit.

That felt amazingly amazing to get off my chest, once again. Blogtherapy. Better than tequila.

2 comments:

xX...Amy...Xx said...

That's a whole lot to balance on one plate, honey! I'm crap at offering advice but I am pretty good at offering a sympathetic ear and a virtual hug :)

Email me if you ever get down - and that way you can be with people (i.e. me) and alone at the same time - sorted, right?

You are a fantastic writer, and I think your idea of asking your 'editor' for feedback is awesome - he'll totally respect you for it.

And try not to worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet - I'm the same and I overthink everything, but your sisters will always love you and you may not be as close for a while but you'll get what you have back. Ditto relationships stuff and making mistakes in senior year - it hasn't happened yet so don't worry about it!

Lots of hugs and kisses, I've got tequila if the blogtherapy doesn't work out!

xxxxx

Lucky said...

Amy, you have noo idea, those kind words just did me a world of good. Thank you sooo much!