This morning, I was walking through Big Sports Network's picturesque campus when a familiar smell filtered the air around me. It was bitter but sweet. So bitter. So sweet.
Somebody was smoking. Black and Milds, I think they're called. The ones that come in a white box with a gold diamond on it. The ones that he'd keep in his nightstand. The ones that he'd smoke while leaning on the balcony. God, that balcony..
He thought it was cute that I pouted when he smoked. He tickled me because I hid his lighter. I hated those little brown cigarettes but he'd look so good as he smoked them that I didn't care. I just tucked the hate away and leaned in for a kiss instead.
So bitter, so sweet.
I used to like the smell. If someone's wearing Tex's cologne, I giggle. If someone's smoking the ones with a gold diamond on the white box, I...pause. I can't figure out if I like the smell or not.
It's so bitter, but it was so sweet and...I'm kidding myself. It was bitter.
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5 comments:
total flashback! one autumn, almost winter evening i strolled through campus when i got a warm cozy feeling, the air just felt like.. hmmm? home? it was a familiar scent that made me hug myself, skip over the dry leaves on the ground and look at the night sky.... that smell was so inviting and warm.... wait, wtf??? that smell is a black and mild... oh damn! mind you no one i'm close with smokes, but i 'guess' i'm familiar with the smell because the heads in the neighborhood would smoke them in the streets... lol!
LOL...it's so poetic, but at the same time it's just so...HOOD, right?! Oh, the dichotomy of being black and educated. It's a gift, you know?
I was close enough to a guy the other day to smell his deoderant and I recognized it as the same that my ex used to wear. Deoderant, really? Another bittersweet smell ...
So random, right? When they tell you about this mushy love stuff they leave out all the after-shocks which are just as bad!
wow. i hate having those memories. like lucky said this was very poetic. i could see you for some reason. i hate memories with guys. i get all depressed.
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