Where Do You Fall?

The Georgia Nicolson series by Louise Rennison is probably one of my favorite book series (behind Harry Potter, of course and duh). The first book is called Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging. I think I'm a little behind, but the books I do own have me in stitches. Again, it's probably the British dry-humor thing. Anyway, the plucky (is there any other kind?) heroine, Georgia, is a little boy-crazy and spends the majority of the series trying to wrangle, maintain, and enjoy the attention of Robbie, who she names the Sex God. I heart her. Of the hilarious lingo and phrases in the book, which I've used myself--"life and soul of the party," for example--the one I love is the "Snogging Scale," kind of a girl's take on rounding the bases. For laughs:

1) holding hands
2) arm around
3) good-night kiss
4) kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath
5) open-mouth kissing
6) tongues
6.5) ear snogging
7) upper body fondling--outdoors
8) upper body fondling--indoors (in bed)
9) below waist activity (b.w.a)
10) the full monty

We should do a psychological version of it, i.e., meeting the parents, spending the night, give him the last piece of cake, etc. But other than that, is the list accurate? Leave anything out? Anything out of order?

Huh. I have never strolled down the street hand-in-hand with a boy, but I sure have dabbled in the six and above territory. What does that mean? How tarty of me...

Fall is Here!

I love me some autumn. My birthday is in November, along with homecoming, trips to the cider mill, changing leaves, and best of all, the following:

Naps-nothing better than coming in from the cold, bundling up in sweatpants and furry socks, fixing a snacky-snack, and falling asleep in front of the TV, mid-afternoon. Absolutely nothing. The fact that I'm super-busy come fall and rarely have time to do this make it even sweeter.

Sports-Playoff baseball is actually the only kind I watch (Go Dodgers), but the NBA is my first love. Followed by college football, que claro. After around Halloween, there's pretty much always a game of either persuasion. And if I wake up kinda late, and I can just turn on the TV and let the lull of the Florida Gators or LA Lakers rouse my into consciousness. Like watching by osmosis.

Fall fashion-Ugg boots! Peacoats! Scarves! Flannel shirts! Layers of lovely clothes make me happy and keep me nice and toasty. Yummm and hot chocolate.

TV shows-a lot of my fall happiness rests on what's on TV, it seems. Alls I know is that the return of Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, the Office and One Tree Hill (if it stops being dumb) equals a whole lotta WIN.

Cuddling-what better way to watch aforementioned TV and ward off said cold than with some good old fashioned body heat? It is a fact that men are warmer because they have more muscle mass which raises body temperature. I'm just trying to cut down on my heat bill, is all I'm saying.

Plus, fall backwards--more sleep! Amen.

It's a Tuba Thang, Shawty, and other Cinematic Adventures

*The tuba quote is from "Drumline." Another one: "I don't know what the beef is between you two is but you better grill it up and eat it."

Several blogs have done this and I always say to myself, "Self, you should post your favorite movie quotes on your own blog." But then the Self and I get very busy with things like dropping my sister off to college in D.C. and ending my internships and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and B. Scott and I forget. But. BUT! Today is the day. I have one day before going back to school, so in the meantime, while I sit on the couch like a bum in sweatpants, here are some fave movie quotes:

And I'm drawing a blank. Hold on, hold on, let me think...ah, ok!

Legally Blonde
-Take my lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
-You passed Spanish 'cause you gave Professor Montoya a lap-dance after finals.
-Yeah. Luckily.

-Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't shoot their husbands. They just don't.

Remember the Titans
-I'm not Martin Luther King, Jesus Christ, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. I'm just a football coach.

-Gary, if you want to play on this football team, you answer me when I ask you who is your daddy? Who's your daddy, Gary? Who's your daddy?

-All right, now, I don't want them to gain another yard! You blitz... all... night! If they cross the line of scrimmage, I'm gonna take every last one of you out! You make sure they remember, forever, the night they played the Titans!

-Let me tell you somthing: you don't let anyone come between us. Nothing tears us apart. In Greek mythology, the Titans were greater even than the gods. They ruled their universe with absolute power. Well that football field out there, that's our universe. Let's rule it like titans.

-You're overcookin' my grits, Coach.

Clueless
I don't even know why I'm listening to you anyway. You're a virgin who can't drive.
--That was way harsh, Tai.

Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.

Need I remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty?!

My man is satisfied, he's got no cause for complaint. But technically, I am a virgin. You know what I mean.

Note: Ok, sorry, went on a Clueless rampage for a second there. Will continue with other movies now.

Juno
-Bren! You's a dick!

-I'm already pregnant, what other shenanigans could I possibly get into?

-Anyway dude, I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting shockingly cavalier.

-(on the phone) Wait, what? Sorry, I'm on my hamburger phone...

Two Can Play That Game
-Ok, every girl's got a little bit of ho in them. But Connie? She's a different kind of ho. She's a lay-on-her-back, do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-your-man, kinda ho. I don't know how she got that big executive job, but three months after she got hired, her boss got a divorce. You make the call.

-Show no signs of weakness. Men only understand strength.

-Men. Why do you let your girl come over and bust all your shit up? That don't make no sense. Fellas, when you're doing your dirt, go over her house. That way, when she gets mad, she can bust up all of her shit, and then you can go home.

Also, any quotes from Anchorman, Wedding Crashers, the Kings of Comedy, or Mean Girls will suffice. Ah, movies. Where knowledge and lifelong quotables happen.

Songs By Which to Live and Love

Let the listing continue. I took a loooooonnnggg nap today, which I haven't done in forever, and it did me a world of good. Except now I'm awake.

Top Love Songs

1. So Amazing--Luther Vandross
2. (There Is) No Greater Love--Amy Winehouse
3. I'll Be There--the Jackson 5
4. Lady in My Life--Michael Jackson
5. Just My Imagination--the Temptations



Top Love Lost Songs

1. Love Don't Love Nobody--the Spinners
2. Silly--Denise Williams
3. She's Out of My Life--Michael Jackson
4. Hello, I Need You--Michelle Featherstone
5. Light Years Away--MoZella
6. I'm Gonna Find Another You--John Mayer
7. A House is Not a Home--Luther Vandross



Top "F*ck That A**hole" Songs

1. Before He Cheats--Carrie Underwood
2. Irreplaceable--Beyonce
3. Hate (I Really Don't Like You)
4. U Don't Have To Call--Usher
5. Womanizer--Britney Spears

Five Random Thoughts About Me

Because I'm feeling self-aware:

1. I hate losing things. It grates on my nerves and keeps me up at night when I've misplaced something. I will tear my house/car/dorm upside down, and if I still can't find whatever it is, I will seriously question everybody nonstop until it turns up. Sometimes it works, sometimes I have to suck it up and just buy a new Fall Out Boy CD. Even years later, I'm like, but seriously, I wonder what happened to that sweatshirt/necklace/picture?

2. Despite lots of evidence to the contrary (ha), I really think I'd make a good girlfriend, or dare I say, wife? Not for awhile on that second one, but people always say to me, "I honestly don't know why you're single!" Yuk yuk yuk. Irony aside, I like to imagine that I'm the sort of girl you'd want your brother to date. Anyone got a brother???

3. My favorite music video is "Bad" by (surprise, surprise), Michael Jackson. The dancing is intensely impeccable, it's a fun video, and I always thought MJ looked sooo sexy in it, with his all-black, chained-up outfit, and Jheri curl! Second place? Smooth Criminal--the ensemble dance after the chorus is my favorite part. Oh, I could go on and on...



4. I'm terrified of sinkholes. Utterly and completely terrified of them.

5. Most people find tardiness tantamount to the highest level of uncouth behavior, but I don't mind it because I'm always five minutes late myself. Well, I don't mind up til ten minutes. Anything after that without a phone call is, indeed, rude.

Anyone else have random minutia about themselves?

Bridezillas Explored

Did anybody see Bridezillas on Sunday? With Karee from Madison, WI? Who was by all accounts--eyewitness and Twitter-wise--an evil bitch with a bad weave? So many thoughts ran through my head.



-These women are lashing out at everyone because they're totally insecure about their upcoming nuptials/their relationships/their situation. Case in point: I guess Karee got her dress for a song and a dance and it showed because she sewed crystals on it for a "Vera Wang" look. When she realized that it still looked cheap, you could see the embarrassment on her face that she had to get married in that travesty. So what does she do? Yell at her poor friend. Same thing with the place cards. She picked them out and she knew they looked like shit so she complained about them. Bitch, accept your lot in life!

-Do these women ever realize that since they're the only ones making the decisions, when the finished product comes out looking stupid they really have only themselves to blame? Karee, you picked out the chocolates without tasting them and told your poor fiancee to get a bagful. Now you're the shmuck stuck with the ass-tasting truffles. Them's the breaks.

-Most to all of the weddings look tacky as hell. From the dresses to the venue, these affairs are usually an all-around fail, highlighted even more by...

-The tiny guess list! These weddings are attended by a sad, scant number of folks. Why? Because these bitches are mean. They have no friends. Just the scared few who are in the wedding (and even those folks are quick to drop out at the bride's shenanigans). Everyone else they've ever met has run away screaming.

-This can't be real.

-She is really mean. Why don't these men leave these horrid women? Obviously they have seen these women's inner and outer bitches and still want to marry them. But why? Is the P that good?

-Does Bridezillas have "Where Are They Now?" specials? I bet half these marriages fizzled. I wonder if any of these women feel badly for their behavior. Probably not.

-Is she really treating her future mother-in-law that way? Is this woman really taking it? Heidi is scared of Karee that's why. I hate unappreciative people. That box did look kinda busted though, on the real. Still, it's the thought that counts! I wouldn't have bought her ass nothing, let alone made something...

I tell ya. And this girl was 20. I'm 20. This busted mean-ass girl found a man willing to marry her. What is this world coming to? Is a woman acting like a "Bridezilla" reason enough to call off the wedding? Methinks so, but that's 'cause I can't stand mean people--these women deserve to be alone unhappy. Thoughts?

Firsts

1. Who was your first prom date?

BFF and Sports Fan (and their respective dates)

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

Um, I still watch the Pistons and listen to Michael Jackson, so yes. The first guy I had a crush on is in jail last I heard. I really know how to pick 'em!

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?

Tequila. Sophomore year in college. The start of a long and beautiful relationship

4. What was your first job?

A Sylvan Learning Center-type deal. My boss was this Chinese lady and our company logo was this weird smiley-face that had more of a frown than an actual smile. Which was so fitting.

5. What was your first car?

Burgundy Honda Accord named Henrietta.

6. Who was the first person to text you today?

Cali Girl in all her craziness.

7. Who is the first person you thought of this morning?

Sex, if that can be a person.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?

Mrs. Merritt

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?

Walt Disney World of course! Oh no wait, we went to Atlanta when I was a baby. So I've heard.

10. Who was your first best friend & do you still talk?

The farthest back I can remember is K, from 3rd grade to about 9th grade. Her dad was a local newscaster and her grandpa a famous mayor. She'd be so embarrassed when people made a big deal when he'd be in the audience at our choir concerts and stuff.

11. Where was your first sleep over?

K's house. It was there that I learned what an orgy was.

12. Who was the first person you talked to today?

Little Sister asked me if I wanted to get up this morning. I grunted "no."

13. Whose wedding were you in the first time?

My oldest female cousin's four or five years ago. Well, she sort of stuck me and Middle Sister in as "hostesses." We had to ask "bride or groom?" and pretend to seat people.

14. What was the first thing you did this morning?

Checked my Blackberry.

15. What was the first concert you ever went to?

Lil' Bow Wow's Scream Tour--still have the t-shirts, I think

16. First tattoo?

I don’t have one and I’m deliberating.

17. First piercing?

My ears.

18. First foreign country you went to?

Canada, as foreign as that can be

19. First movie you remember seeing?

Beauty and the Beast in the theaters, methinks, shortly followed by Snow White and the Lion King.

20. When was your first detention?

In like 5th grade, when the school passed this asinine detention policy for 5th grade infractions like tardies and not doing our homework properly. It soon became a party.

22. Who was your first roommate?

Besides Middle Sister? This anal-retentive girl named Brittany.

23. If you had one wish. What would it be?

To get married and start a family (combo)

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?

Play the drums

25. Did you marry the first person to ask for your hand in marriage?

I have never been honestly asked.

26. What was the first sport that you were involved in?

Cheerleading, and dancing before that, if dancing counts.

27. What were the first lessons you ever took?

Ballet, tap, and jazz

28. What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Change into my sweats and pee. And get a snack.

Matrimony Music

Five songs that must be played at some point at your wedding. Go!

1. "So Amazing" by Luther Vandross--my parents played this at their wedding

2. "Sweetest Love" by Robin Thicke--he says it himself

3. "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce--duh because it's fun to dance to

4. "(There is) No Greater Love by Amy Winehouse--it's so sweet, especially acoustic. I'd get someone to sing it as we stood in front of everybody (people do that, right?)

5. "Just My Imagination" by The Temptations--one of my top Temps songs (watching the biopic as we speak)

6. "Like a Star" by Corrine Bailey Rae--is that a wedding song? Well, it'll be at mine.

Now that I think about it, it's been awhile since I've been to a wedding. My cousin is marrying this chick in October (psst! Her ring is HUGE) and he's not that much older than I am. Read: hot friends!

Let me know, folks!

Transformers 2: A Study

I'm still sad. But it's a happy sad. A "sing along to 'The Way You Make Me Feel' through my tears" kind of sad. Before I lost my Favorite Entertainer of All Time, Little Sister and I went to see the midnight premiere of Transformers 2. The theater was hot, and it was long (and a little racist!) but it was a great entertainment. I decided (during a lull in the 2.5 hours of action) that T2 was a combination of movies. SPOILER ALERT.

Harry Potter 7: Optimus Prime dying and whatnot reminded me of Dumbledore's untimely demise. I think I was the only one in the theater who caught the funny part when the mom looks around the college and goes "ooh this is like Hogwarts!"

Also, the Decepticon informed the world that someone must bring forth Sam Witwicky in order to spare the world from destruction. Very Voldemort-esque!!!

War of the Worlds: I myself was exhausted after watching both of these movies.

The Mummy: they were in Egypt a lot, ok?

The Matrix: after every single plot twist and turn, the thing that could save Optimus Pride, and, conveniently, the world, was a doodad called...the matrix. Of all things. Wha? 15 years later, world-saving technology is still limited to the matrix. I shook my head.

I did enjoy it, though, even with Megan Fox's boobies all up in my face and everyone constantly looking perfectly sweaty and dirt-smudged.

Up next in the technically bad but I will probably love it category: GI Joe. Then The Ugly Truth and then, joy of joys! Harry Potter the Sixth. I am so ready.

Rainy Ruminations

Hola ladies and gents.

I was totally and completely planning to grovel for your forgiveness tomorrow but that persistent broad, guilt, kept disturbing my sleep. I really do love you guys! I mean, I *think* about posting a lot, which counts for something, right?! Well to me it does ok?
But I will try to honor my bloggerly duties, even if it means sacrificing my thumbs by posting from my Blackberry. Things we do for love.

Honest I do think about yall a lot. For instance after tonight's game I had to drive home in a pitch black, hurling vortex of a thunderstorm and had to use my music as a coping mechanism, ie: don't stop singing along lest your mind wanders to, "oh my God I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I wonder if they'll have a TV special on me hmm it'll drive my 'exes' insane with remorse for treating me bad hmm there's a silver lining oh well as long as they bury me a gangsta big curve sharp turn shhhhiiittttt..." And the only other thing I could think of was "if I live to tell the tale this is defffffinitely going on the blog."

So clearly I've got my priorities straight and yall are at the top of the list :-)
Also for my own convenience here's a list of things I've been meaning to talk about that I can refer to when I inevitably sit down to post and get smacked with a case of Empty Brain/Lack of Creativity:

-WNBA: my thoughts so far
-dream house
-close call with my sister
-family ruminations contd
-this episode of What Not to Wear that totally struck a chord
-the squirrel and the freeway

Obvs only wrote tidbits so as not to give it all away too soon (we know me). So stay tuned, all!

Yours in faithful, bespectacled service,

Luckylicious

Wedding or Circus?

Things have been a little heavy in my mind (and, sigh, in my jeans...) so really quick, so I spread a little good energy around:

I am LIKE COMPLETELY OBSESSED with Who's Wedding is it Anyway. Every time I watch it I mentally add another idea to my list of wedding stuff for my proverbial Big Day like a million years in the future.

-purple/fuschia as one of the wedding colors
-chocolate cake (I wish. Apparently not everybody likes chocolate cake *sad face*)
-long wavy hair (for me, duh)
-our own vows
-NO Pachebel's Canon in D (I was forced to play it on the piano for guests as a child and have never really gotten over it) or Vivaldi
-no tulle. Anywhere.
-or, omigod, updos
-a rehearsal barbecue instead of rehearsal dinner

I could go on and on.

Linyette, the no-nonsense, good-natured black lady from Baltimore, is my favorite wedding planner, FYI.

The funniest episode was the wedding between this snooty blonde [gold-digger] and this stereotypical, Bart Bass-type dude. They kept pushing the date back, too. The first time, the couple was "having problems" which was totally code for one of these numbers:

"You don't care about this wedding or you would have came to the cake tasting with me!"

"Don't care? Don't care? I was busting my ass at work trying to pay for the goddamned cake!"

But apparently, things were smoothed out, and preparations commenced for the new date. Then, the already overworked Kevin and his team of wedding planners start getting calls from angry vendors with unpaid bills. Oh, snap, right?! Looks like Mr. Moneybags ain't so moneyed! I could imagine that fight, too

"Do you know how embarrassing it is for our celebrity wedding planner to tell me that the florist hasn't been paid? In front of my friends? In front of the cameras? IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER?!?!"

"Why did you order a hundred different types of fucking flowers anyway?"

"Oh, now you want to add your input!"

And of course, the lady took it out on poor Kevin, griping at him when he asked her if they were going to pay $1500 for parking, something the bride hadn't thought of but was clearly in the pamphlet he gave her at the beginning of the plans. Later that night, I'm sure:

"I totally gave Kevin hell today worrying about fucking parking. And for what?! If your money's funny and we can't pay for this wedding I swear to God..."

Our brave weddling planner manages to soothe the ires of the florists, bakers, dressmakers, etc, and they even give the couple until Thursday to pay their bills. Thursday comes and goes, no word from the happy couple. Heroically, miraculously, Kevin manages to extend the deadline until Friday afternoon. And still no word from the couple! At this rate, my mouth is gaping open, this is un-fucking-leviable!

Kevin has to go around and tell the various vendors that this particular wedding is pretty much a no-go at this point, and finally, he ends up at the lady's house, where she tells him that the wedding's not happening. She sounds pretty vague, as if there may be a slim chance that her and [her money train] Bart Bass 2.0 can work things out, silently imploring Kevin to keep her as a client. But Kevin reads her like a book. If the wedding was totally off, there would be no need to say so anyway, but he tells her flat-out and very politely, that he couldn't work with her anymore. Even though her wedding was just cancelled, I was secretly kind of happy that Kevin gave her the heave-ho because she was a brat.

Clearly, I've invested a lot into this show.

Issue-Laden

Ok I lied rant back on.

Worries:
-I haven't had the time (nor, if we're being honest, the inclination) to exercise in awhile. I have, however, had time to eat AND EAT and I'm afraid it will catch up with me sooner that later

-Sometimes, while reflecting about the past three years in preparation for my senior year (WHOOOO!!), I'm scared I'll make the same mistakes in terms of friendships, relationships, etc and let people treat me any kind of way and respond destructively.

-My sisters are growing up before my bespectacled eyes and I hate it. HATE HATE HATE it. Drove Little Sister to her piano lesson and while we were goofing off in the car I totally almost burst into tears because she's about to start high school and then she will probably definitely be too cool for me :-( also, Middle Sister is about to start college and I'm really scared that our personality differences will tear us apart.

-I've been feeling quite insecure lately. Inadequate, lacking, unrelatable almost; even incapable at human interaction. Like, I enjoy being alone but then I like it too much that I'm closed off so even when I want company I'm stuck on my solitary island. An island with lots of books and pretzels, but seldom other people.

-Also it's my last year to find a college boyfriend. Even though, I don't think about it as much as I used to. However, when what has been a central worry is now on the back burner compared to my other worries, I get mighty worried. At least I still have my wit.

That felt amazingly amazing to get off my chest, once again. Blogtherapy. Better than tequila.

Quirks

I love how men are quick to list what they want/don't want in a woman yet remain annoyingly oblivious to their own faults. However, that's another post. Looking through posts at Single Black Male (which I have a love/hate relationship with), the posts I liked were the lists of "quirks"--or qualities unique to a mate-seeking individual based on their own personalities, that other people may not understand. These can include wearing glasses, enjoying Anime, what have you. I thought about it, and here's my starting list of quirks that will make Lucky's heart swoon.

-Knowing a little about a lot.
This is a two-fold: keeping up with current events, from the highbrow news to pop culture is one. More importantly, and Top Chef is the man for this one: knowing so much random trivia it makes my head spin, allowing us to have drawn-out conversations about any- and everything. There are a few subjects with which I am totally fascinated. While my man doesn't have to share these same fascinations, I will find it absolutely endearing if he's a total nerd about, say, the Bermuda triangle, the history of football, and Howard Hughes.

If you're wondering, my favorite subjects are the Romanovs, Princess Diana, the Mafia (la Cosa Nostra!). Honorable mention: Titanic, ancient Egypt, and Greco-Roman mythology.

-An affinity for the child-like
Not to be confused with childish, ie, immature, overly messy, dependent on mothers, etc, a man who can appreciate the childlike makes my heart melt. A little silly, laughs at cute commercials, even stuff like remembering his favorite Power Ranger (and has valid reasons!). Ultimate bonus: if he has read (not just seen the movies, although that counts for something) Harry Potter. I've never met a man besides TC who has physically turned the pages of our beloved series. When I meet him, there will be a party in someone's pants, I guarantee.

-(Slightly) Imperfect Teeth
A tiny gap or a little crooked tooth in the front is so cute to me. Noticeably f*cked up or discolored chompers are icky, but a textbook so-called too-perfect smile along with perfect lips does nothing for me. I'm a sucker for a unique, lopsided grin.

-Left-handed
My dad's left-handed. My terrific buddy The Artist is left-handed. The Smoker was left-handed. Barack Obama is left-handed. Maybe it's the fact that it's kinda rare and weirdish. But it is absolutely adorable when a guy is so confident and by-the-book classic but writes with the "off" hand. Sigh.

-Hates the same reality TV that I hate
Ok. Shows like Rock of Love, for the Love of Ray J absolutely turn my stomach. I think they're misogynistic and dumb, catering to the idea of a man and his harem of women. The women on the show are just as bad. Maybe it's the one uptight part about me but I can't stand those shows, for comic relief or othewise. Just can't get with it. And any guy who doesn't at least see those problems, or worse, "kinda likes the idea of getting to choose from a bevy of [publicity-hounding, morally questionable] 'sexy' women" gives me a glimpse of his thoughts on women, sex, and relationships in general. It depends, I guess, on what he has to say, but more than anything those shows piss me off and I don't want to risk the chance of them clogging up my TiVo 'cause he just has to see who else smashed the homies.

-Has battle wounds
I love a guy with manly hands and scars from actually working sometime in his life. Or, oooh, playing sports. I don't bruise, and the few scars I've gotten totally disappear when they heal. True story: when I tripped and fell in a ditch in an unfortunate cheerleading-related incident and disgustingly scraped my knee, I thought FOR SURE it would leave a gnarly scar. But alas, you can barely see it now. Boo. Bottom line: I think scars are cool and since I can't seem to get any* I like them on guys. OMG another true story: this guy I went to high school with is a burn victim and years later I think his somewhat faded but still visible burns are kinda sexy...

I am so weird.

*Knock on wood that I don't, like, slice my arm in a freak shopping accident. Even though I got a burn on the top of my hand from the oven and I kinda like it.

I truly and literally could go on and on as I write, so I'll stop here. But I'm interested in you guys' quirky turn-ons.

Some final thoughts:
-I freaking love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. LOVE THEM. I love how they're all kinda tacky and too tan and really great moms, too.

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE FAMED CAVALIERS LOST HOLY CRAP CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY THIS YEAR!!!!!!

Sexy Things Meme

Once again, I was tagged by the delightful Amy to fill out this "Sexy Things" questionairre. Eesh, this may be kind of hard, I am such a nerd...

1. My lips
Get your minds out of the gutter, dirty birdies! I have been blessed with a nice full pucker, and it comes in handy because most of the time, I'm smiling or laughing. This also gives me a reason to stock up on my favorite lip glosses, because I figure if something takes up half your face, it should look nice and be sparkly.

Preserving the sexy. I adore being a girl!

2. My size
I am considered tall--5'7, and athletically curvy. I have dreamt of being petite and compact but it is just not in the cards. Instead, I often feel like it's just...a lot of body for one person, you know? I'm broad-shouldered and long-legged, and combined with high heels and big hair I can feel tranny-like.

I had a point.

My body is strong and rarely lets me down. When I look in the mirror, I see more or less a classic woman's shape, no scrawny hips or peeking ribs here. And I love it.

3. My ears
My ears are ridiculously tiny. Guys think they are cute. Cute equals sexy. Ergo, my ears are sexy.

4. My disposition
Follow me here. From what I understand, men like fairly low-maintenance, natural beauty. Haphazard, rumpled, just woke up-sexy. Luckily, that's my specialty. I like to straddle the line with my clothes to my laid-back, yet flirty demeanor. My aesthetic is girl next door with a hint of sex appeal. It's fun and leaves room to experiment, in case one day I'm feeling casual and the next glamorous, hopefully it comes off as approachable!

Honorable mention: My legs
Ok, ok, must give credit where credit is due, they are a big weapon in my arsenal. I just measured them: 39.5 inches long. Out of a total 67 inches. You do the math. Thanks to genetics, dancing, cheerleading, and all-around hyperactivity, my legs get me where I need to go and turn a few heads in the process :)

I'm blushing!

Tagged, I'm It!

I was tagged by the lovely Amy of Sex, Chocolate, and Red Lipstick. Here goes!

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. NBA playoff basketball
2. a summer internship with a major sports team/franchise :)
3. meeting my next boyfriend (wherever he is he needs to hurry up and make his presence known!)
4. seeing my family soon for summer vacation
5. Obsessed starring Sasha Fierce and Idris Elba aka Sex on a Stick
6. a fancy-dress event with Motown Lover next weekend
7. The Paper's major "Men of the Year" issue--I'm excited for the photo shoots I helped plan
8. shopping--I see it for the near future: I want a bright sundress and some nail polish
Hon. Mention: hot swimming weather!

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Slept in (yay for canceled class!)
2. got my eyebrows done
3. shaved my legs, I think/I hope haha
4. applied for a scholarship (I really hope I get it because last year the awards banquet was super-fun)
5. reflected on my past, ill-fated crushes and cringed
6. spent inordinate amounts of time on Facebook
7. rented "The Brothers" and "The House Bunny"
8. got caught in the rain

8 Things I Wish I Could Do
1. cuddle in this thunderstorm
2. watch the Pistons try and take a 3-0 lead over the Cavaliers tomorrow
3. flirt successfully
4. turn back the hands of time (just kidding)
5. buy Season 2 of Gossip Girl
6. open the bottle of Pepsi downstairs (I had to CUT the top third off of the bottle...it wouldn't budge!)
7. measure my running distances in miles, not minutes
8. stop procrastinating
Hon. mention: wear heels and skirts without feeling like a tranny

8 Shows That I Watch
Eek! Don't know if it's that many...
1. Gossip Girl
2. One Tree Hill
3. Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane
4. The Game
5. Millionaire Matchmaker
6. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
7. The Cosby Show
8. Inside the NBA
Hon. mention: Ask a Gay Man (it's a youtube series. Sue me).

I tag: Vixen, Vittoria, the Brooklyn Boy

Family Ties

This procrastination thing is really, really cool. You get to catch up on blogs, youtube if you're rebellious, check your transcripts, eat, watch a little TV, and reflect on life, all while your homework (and WARM COZY BED) waits patiently for your return.

Anyway, I have two younger sisters. We all look eerily alike. Middle Sister and I are quite different, though, as I've noticed (Plus, ohmigod, she's going to prom this year. We're three years apart. I am a geezer). Anyway, while these differences can sometimes be quite pronounced. She thinks Plies is cute. I do not (have you SEEN him? Ew. Never would I ever). She likes Cooler Ranch Doritos (blue bag), I like Classic (red bag). She's way more popular in high school than I ever was (even though, it must be said, my fewer friends were of better quality than her many acquaintances). She will have a date to prom. I did not.

That last one deserves a little exploration.

I didn't mind not having a date. I actually didn't even care until I noticed five people--an odd number--piling into the limo. My mother, however, was comically disturbed that I had to buy a single ticket. Well, there was nothing comical about the argument that ensued when she realized that not only was I dateless, but also not combing the dregs of my high school to find one. Yes, the boys that inhabited my high school were dreg-worthy, certainnly not date-worthy. She thought I was going dateless to spite her. I told her there was precious little I could do if no one asked to escort me to prom and it didn't bother me enough to go out and find one myself. And to this day I still can't imagine who I would've gone to prom with. So I figure it was meant to be. However, I also hope against hope that one's prom date isn't any indicator, of, like, who she's going to end up with later in life or anything, because then I am, to coin a phrase, ass-out.

But I have digressed.

When it comes to Middle Sister, I am pleasantly surprised to find that on some things, her and I are hilariously alike. Behold the rare similarities between the proverbial sisters Bookworm (me) and the Social Butterfly (her):

-Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Both of my sisters are picky eaters. I am not. But we could both live for days at a time on PB&Js. During the summer, we probably have.

-Rush Hour 2. Every time we head to a family function, I have this DVD in my purse so that when things get boring we can sneak into a bedroom and watch the antics of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. Seriously, me and her will sit and roar with laughter watching RH2. And "Rush Hour 3," come to think of it. Oh, and "Clueless." We grew up with that movie.

-Impressions. My comedy turnover ratio is about 60 percent, meaning that out of 10 things I think/say are funny, only six of them actually are. However, MS and I sit in the kitchen and recall events and imitate its characters for hours. It's how we bond. The same thing applies with movie lines--our quote battles are legendary.

Although I wouldn't be surprised if the aforementioned things were all MS and I have in common, obviously we like having each other around, if only simply for comedic purposes. Yes, she gets on my last nerves sometimes and I want to give her a good [bitchslap] pinch, she has my back and I have hers.

She still steals my clothes though. That's a trait 17 years in the making.

Patrolling for Slimmies

**Bonus points and congratulatory Cheetos to the person knows what TV show the title of this post is from!**

Just so y'all think I'm not exaggerating, during today's LONG Paper Meeting I decided to perform at evaluatory evaluation of the menfolk of the newspaper staff, you know, to see if I'm missing something. Survey says that no, I am not, even without factoring looks into the equation. I know, I know, I am all heart.

Starting from the left corner and going around the circle:

-Mr. Always in a Suit: Let's be honest: too intelligent. And has a white girlfriend.

-Mr. Psuedo-Worldly Journalist: Long-winded, presumptuous and probably has d*ck-cheese.

-Mr. I Can't Say Hello EVER: Um, if he grew a little and wiped the smug "I'm in a fraternity" look off of his face.

-Mr. Arts Editor: Gay.

-Mr. Red Vans and Fresh Line-up: Probably gay.

-Mr. I Wear Braces: Always nervous. Poor guy.

-Mr. Can't Remember His Name Even Though He's My Writer: Too quiet. Could probably slap him around a little, too, which is never attractive.

-Mr. Other Sports Guy: Always dusty and crusty. Plus we got into that huge fight that one time.

-Mr. Wears the Funny Furry Hat: Just...no.

But there was some silver lining:

-Mr. Virtually Ignored Me at an Awards Banquet Once: Would secretly let him bang, but we'd have to take separate cars and he'd have to sneak out the back door.

Although my survey was funny at the moment, it did heavily reinforce the sad fact that the search, indeed, goes on. It is a good thing that, even in These Trying Times, I still have my wit.

A Little About "Meme" (Get it?)

Much love to the Brooklyn Boy for this meme! Read and be amazed while I watch the Lakers take on the Cavaliers (after spending ALL DAY at work watching four basketball games back-to-back. There is something wrong with me). Plus, tomorrow, we get to welcome Barack to the Oval Office! I'll be at work, though...basketball waits for no man. Thank God for online TV!

THE BLOG
1. How often does "this would make an awesome blog post" factor in to your decision-making process?

-Erm, when stuff happens I tend to think "ooh I can blog about this!" But in actuality, many times I just open up the comp and start writing...well, it's more like, I file interesting stuff away to write about later. If it's something I'm really passionate about, I know that if I write it right, the resulting post will be (hopefully!) awesome.

2. If one person were to find your blog, deduce it was you and read it in entirety, who would most send you into full-on crisis management, and why?

-That actually happened last year: Homeboy (new name in the unlikely event I mention him again: The Smoker) found it and 'twas pretty much disastrous. So I'd have to say if a guy that I have a crush on and wrote about read it, there would be a CODE-RED affair. But besides that I'd have to say--and it's so typical--my parents. Night-freaking-mare.

THE AUTHOR
1. How long have you worn glasses?

*laughs* Oh, gosh...since I was 9 or 10, I think...and I'm 20 now...so almost half my life! It's to the point where I think I look funny without them because I've worn 'em so long!

2. What's something about you most people don't/wouldn't notice, but you're quite proud of?

-Hmm...I can't think! Let's see...my ab strength, maybe? I'm always eating and laying around so you wouldn't think it, but I can do sit-ups, crunches, leg lifts, all sorts of things. Now if I could get around to actually DOING them...I swear I have a six-pack under here...somewhere...

THE RANDOMNESS
1. If, for the rest of your life, you could only ... read blogs without commenting or comment without being able to read anything but the post title, which would you choose and why?

-Read blogs without commenting all the way. I'm kind of a lurker by nature, anyway: sometimes people don't see me, but I sure as shootin' see them!

Here are the rules (I think): Write "interview me!" in your comment and I'll send you some questions. I hope y'all had...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH KOBE???

GOTTA. GO.

PS--I'm gonna recap "The Game" again, I think...look out for it...

Liveblogging The Pistons Game

Since I've been [obsessing] talking about it for so long, I thought it would be fun to liveblog the day of the basketball game (tonight at 8pm). Warning: it's long. Who knew this was so much fun?

-Crikey, I woke up late. I need to wash clothes to have something to wear for the men of my dreams.
-My mom and sister were supposed to leave like a half hour ago. Why are they still here? WHY am I still in bed?
-Urgh. A lotta laundry to carry downstairs.
-General Hospital's on. Damn, it must be past three o'clock. Oops.
-Colors safely in the wash. Hungry. A Pop-Tart seems good.
-WHO ATE THE LAST POP-TART????
-Oh, never mind. Here's the last one. Scrumptious.
-Still hungry. Contemplate eating donut as well.
-Compromise by eating half a donut and some orange juice instead. Why am I not 300 lbs? Have no idea.
-Oh, dear. My hair needs...doing. Plug in flat-iron.
-Check e-mail while waiting. Nothing good.
-What am I going to wear tonight? Make sister Google pictures of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens at Lakers games for ideas.
-All pictures are of couples. Will not feel bad today--have FIVE men waiting for me.
-Perform ablutions. I feel nauseous. WTF? Maybe Pop-Tart/donut/toothpaste idea was not a winning one.
-Ever notice that when you feel the least bit queasy, your imagination immediately brings up things that really do disgust you?
-Am making self sick. Must stop.
-Saw an episode of CSI that said smiling suppresses the gag reflex. Am grinning like an idiot to beat churning stomach.
-Find pictures of Sophia Bush online. She is a cute, compact little person even leaving a nail salon. Why can't I be a cute, compact little person??
-Am too tall, curvy, and hate ironing, is why.
-Tried to flat-iron hair. Lose interest after first two strokes. Persevere. Satisfied with half/various sections tended to.
-Put second load of laundry in. Might just be on schedule after all.
-Ever since I pulled my computer back from the brink of death I have no full CDs on my ITunes. I thought I wouldn't mind at first but I do. Must begin tedious task of loading them onto my Ipod.
-CD case is downstairs and I am not. Perhaps another day, then.
-This is the first Pistons game I've gone to not wearing ceremonial attire. -Am SO unprepared. All the celebs are [with their boyfriends] wearing high heels. Lent my Manolo's to Beyonce so am out of luck on that front. Plus it snowed last night--it's cold, dammit.
-Except try as I might to think otherwise, wearing a dress and heels to a sporting event reeks of Trying Too Hard and brands you as one of THOSE girls who have no idea what's going on in the game.
-Surely there must be a happy medium.
-I'm going to wear my new purple boots. Festive, not fussy.
-Nothing in my wardrobe matches purple boots. What was I THINKING?
-Gray t-shirt, skinny jeans, purple boots. Option #1.
-John Travolta's 16-year-old son died...so sad...
-Skinny jeans are in the dryer still. I never put them in the dryer, but I needed them to wear tonight. What if they're not dry in time? What if they SHRINK?
-Run downstairs.
-30 minutes left on dryer. Sigh. Plus, all my good bras are still wet. Why can't I wake up early like a responsible adult? Why?
-On second thought, where did that gray t-shirt come from? Look closer.
-Oh, damn, forgot. That's not a regular t-shirt, that's a XXL "Property of Clemson Athletics" shirt I bought last week! Damn!
-Maybe I'll just go naked. Anyone? Anyone?
-Purple stripey sweater, skinny jeans, purple boots. Option #2.
-Garage door opens. Who's that? Mom. Might not be too happy with my lack of progress.
-Quickly run downstairs to get makeup.
-Not Mom, it's Dad. Says we must leave by 6:45. It is 5:20 and I'm in pajamas, Middle Sister's not home, Little Sister is still in a towel. This might not end well.
-I WILL us to make it on time.
-Where is my phone??
-Oh, here on the kitchen table. Typical.
-Grab dry pants, leave everything else in laundry room.
-Yum, jeans straight out of the dryer are nice and toasty.
-Oof, but tight.
-Ok, skinny jeans with sweater and knee high boots...looks kind of...tawdry...
-Am convinced I look ok. Harass sisters for 2nd and 3rd opinions. They cosign.
-All leave house, pile into car ahead enough of schedule to swing by McDonald's.
-Mmmm chicken nuggets.
-Damn, that's a lot of traffic. For a good cause, though. Go 'Stones!
-$10 for parking is highway robbery.
-We're heeeeeeeere!
-This parking lot is huge...Gawd, it's cold.
-My sisters don't like my boots. Say they would have told me but I was too busy running around saying things like "People, people, why are we not dressed?" and "Come on, now, time is money!"
-Am now self-conscious.
-And in slightly bad mood.
-No line at Will Call. Sweet.
-Will Call Lady taking absurdly long time finding our tickets. I ordered them, I swear I did! Ohmygod if this goes wrong I will be soo embarrassed not to mention pissed off--$10 parking!--where are those tickets?!
-Whew. She found them.
-My extraordinary planning skills have gotten us ticket package with gift cards to concession stands.
-Still annoyed about poor outfit choice.
-Hmm, seats aren't bad. High, but good view.
-Game starts...YAY fireworks and "The Final Countdown!"
-Am slightly misty-eyed.
-Wipe eyes under pretense of scratching nose.
-Go to bathroom at halftime, scrutinize outfit, leave confused. Do I look ok or not?
-Want to ask stranger. Refrain and slink to concessions.
-Yick. Soft pretzel tastes disappointingly like plain old bread.
-Little Sister gives me her ice cream. All is forgiven.
-Drunken people in the row below are looking to "get the party started." Amusing.
-Great second half, scream loudly. Sing along to "Shout" and participate in The Wave.
-Middle Sister even gets into game. By Jove, I think we've got it!
-Game's getting close. "The Final Countdown" plays again! Rodney Stuckey has 38 points!
-I LOVE THE PISTONS.
-We win, exit happily.
-Unceremonious drive home, thinking next time will just say "sod it" and wear t-shirt and jeans after all.
-Rifle through drawers at home, find Pistons nightshirt. Shirt big enough to be pretend boyfriend's instead of last year's Christmas present from auntie.
-Little Sister begs to watch a movie. Wrestling is involved as method of persuasion.
-Fashion Student calls. The girls are going to Canada tomorrow evening. Am going along. Will not get drunk--have no money for hotel and must come home same night.
-Soak cartilage piercing in salt water. Have been bad, have not done so in days.
-It stings a little. Am worried.
-Lean over sink studying ear in mirror. Gasp dramatically. Piercing looks gross! Am worried even more.
-Google "infected cartilage piercing."
-Yahoo Answers extremely reassuring.
-Sigh with relief: must not take earring out under any circumstance (prospect of wasting $55 scarier than prospect of ear falling off).
-Resolve to see doctor upon returning to school: want to avoid "should not have done it in the first place" lecture from mother. Surely stern "tut, tut" sounds will be made.
-Am watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Kate Hudson another cute, compact person. With annoyingly cute little Knicks jersey.
-More feelings of inferiority.
-In movie, fictional Knicks are playing fictional Sacramento Kings--I totes just saw them a few hours ago! Fictional because a) the actors are so clearly not the actual players and 2) the Knicks and Kings would never play in the Finals.
-Wish for future job to include rooftop martinis during workday.
-Remember do not like vodka. But perhaps afternoon tequila is too much to ask for.
-"Put a muzzle on your old lady the next time you bring her in public!"
-Wonder why Matthew McConaghey attempts to nuzzle in Kate's breasts when she OBVIOUSLY has none. But I sympathize.
-MM is still sexy.
-"A woman loves a man who can cook." I guess.
-Fictional Sportscenter referred to Earl Monroe. I met him last year! Earl the Pearl!

I would continue but I feel like liveblogging a movie is worthy of a whole separate post. Plus Little Sister keeps giving me the side-eye for typing during "our time," so I must bid y'all adieu. She has a hefty kick for someone of her size.

Totals: 2 loads of laundry complete, 1 amazing basketball game, 2 dejected purple boots, 1 possibly infected ear.

The NBA, Where Cliches Happen

10. "...they/we just have to find a way to win."

9. "...I can't take anything away from [opponent]: they played a great game, executed well."

8. "...we were able to finish strong and get/come through with the win/get the job done."

7. "...it was a dogfight/heckuva basketball game!"

6. "...with a COMMANDING 3-1 lead."

5. "...in this PIVOTAL game 5."

4. "...a double-overtime thriller!"

3. "...Lebron James with NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE!!" (Note: Gag me.)

2. "...we just have to take it one game at a time."

And of course, the post-game press conference staple:

1. "Both teams played hard."