Will be checking into the Grammys periodically, but the Pistons are also on TV, and well, you know my heart. A few observations thus far:
-Get the FUCK into Whitney Houston! Pre-Grammy botox did her face RIGHT.
-J-Hud looks so pretty...OMG is that Punk???
-Since when does The Rock fancy himself a comedian?
-"Thank you, Dwyane," says Justin Timberlake, dripping with good-natured sarcasm.
-"Let's Stay Together"? "Love and Happiness"? Oh, JT and your "blue-eyed soul." He knows those songs are the ways to black folks' hearts. Is that texturizer in his hair?
-JT is singing with Al Green. I don't know how to feel. You'd think Justin's falsetto would pull this off better, but, not quite. A for effort 'cause he's nervous.
-Damn! Al outsang Justin with that one high note. That note said "You may have felt up Janet Jackson, kid, but I am a LEGEND. Know this."
-WTF is this Chris Brown and Rihanna drama? If it comes out that he went Ike Turner on her we are officially not friends.
-Kanye and Estelle are a) performing last summer's anthem 2) looking like aluminum foil. I quit.
-YAY Adele won for Best New Artist! Thank you for making all of those hours hiding behind over-priced lingerie and sampling perfumes at VS bearable with "Melt My Heart to Stone"!
-MIA is hilarious to me right now. Everybody in the audience is kinda laughing, watching her waddle around throwing up the Roc. But around those guys I hope she pulled rank during rehearsals: "I am SO serious. NO weed around me." I'd think that they wouldn't let her perform for liability reasons, but hey, she G'd it out. I fucks with MIA for that one.
*I'm having this fantasy of TI, Jay-Z, Kanye, and Lil' Wayne backstage, gathering around MIA, watching out for her and rubbing her belly. It is quite precious.*
-Kate Beckinsale looks pretty. But bitch, CLEARLY MIA is due soon. Homegirl looks like she was due like two months ago.
-I'm on a diet now but I want some more ice cream.
-Two things garnered from this old white man who is speaking before us: a) I would very much like to visit the Grammy Museum 2) Secretary of the Arts is a good idea. Also, I REALLY hope BHO copyrighted "Yes We Can."
-The Four Tops look very snazzy. Along with Smokey Robinson and Ne-Yo. I'm digging this black tuxedo business. Jamie Foxx is channeling Jimmy Early right now. Why? I don't know. Regardless, I'm loving this performance.
-Squeeeeeee John Mayer! I know he loves all those bluesy guys so I know how much he must be digging this right now. At first I wasn't sure if it was him, but I'd recognize those silly faces he makes when he sings from anywhere. I have, after all, seen him twice in concert :]
-LIEUTENANT DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Lol @ "not so little." Lil' Wayne is literally five feet tall.
-Wayne looks...dare I say...clean? Cute? I'm digging his shoes. Now that I've gotten my check I'm on the hunt for some Jordans and therefore have been keeping tabs on people's shoe game.
-I want to order "When the Levees Broke" on Amazon.com
-For one shining moment I thought he was going to introduce Terrance Howard.
-Take away T-Pain's hat and he looks like any other tacky Southern mofo on the street. This, my friends, is progress.
-Look at Solange! Next to Jay-Z! And TI and Piglet! Solange looked pretty decent but you know she's appearing as Bey's stand-in. And probably wearing wicker shoes and rainbow tights.
-Debra Lee's whack ass.
-YES Tha Carter III!
-Wayne, you were onstage for two seconds. Why all those people? But I see Reginae in her dress that you KNOW came from FKO. Bless her.
-Homegirl in the back in the white suit's bra is showing.
-Album of the Year: Raising Sand?? Who are these people?? Chile my melanin is showing...
-I never get tired of Stevie Wonder's head shake. But those braids that start halfway down his head have got to go.
Wellp, that's all the time I have for you folks. The Grammys left me slightly underwhelmed, but hey. It's the recession. Now I must go stalk the internets for pictures of dresses and, for real, for real, where the heck was Sasha Fierce?
Showing posts with label liveblogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liveblogging. Show all posts
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Recapping "The Game"
I've become an addict to recapping--this time I did CW's The Game. This one was a little more difficult as, well, technically speaking, the show's not that good: not incredibly plot-rich or, let's be honest, well-acted. A solid following coupled with seeing some brown faces in a semi-decent, non-token way probably contributes to the show's getting a third season more than its oft-employed Shirtless Method of Acting does. But still, it's entertaining (well, if the Melanie-Derwin plotline picks back up it will be) so, here we go!
Realer than Melanie Still Thinking Wide Scarves are Majorly Trendy
-Plus 2 for Derwin's Pilates band. Athletes are secretly into girly exercises like water aerobics and yoga and stuff. Would have scored higher had Derwin been in the middle of Total Body Sculpt with Gilad on Fit TV.
-Plus 3 for Derwin inadvertently not taking back the money Jason stole...everybody is turning into a foil for Jason--he looks bad in comparison to just about every character.
-Plus 4 for Mel having "struggling student" downpat: self-parking, big "trendy" scarf at popular spot, woefully knockoff bag. Some of us are still in that phase...
-The whole exchange is kind of awkward--Kelly and Tasha are better at banter that Mel and Tasha are. But Plus 1 because in this case poor acting is kind of disguised: maybe Tasha, Mel, and Kelly haven't hung out since the hiatus.
-The 3 Ferarris(?) in a row/Jason's deal: Plus 3 because DAYUM, but also because of course Jason just does not get that it's not about the money. Writers, why does he not get it? Either we need more backstory or we must contend that he really is a jerk.
-"Not outlet mall Gucci, but mall-mall Gucci." Plus 1
-Plus 2 for Robin's performance: the pyschobabble and TV appearances that only not-so famous do? Her marriage is circling the drain and she knows it.
-Additional Plus 1 for "Read a...listen to an audiobook."
-Tasha, on Kelly's newly acquired millions: "I got some old friends that could flip it!" Plus 3 because ain't that the truth: turning money into more money is how the newly rich stay rich/get richer, and Tasha knows it. Also as an agent she's probably seen many an player wife squander her ex-husband's cash and knows better...
-Plus 3 for Jason's childish--and so accurate--behavior at the divorce hearing: whispering, silent gestures...nothing says "I'm ignoring you" more than texting someone who's at the same table.
-If we had no other proof Jason is an asshole, he had to try and get full custody of Brittany. Plus only 1 because it's so cliche, though. Jase, you had the girl sleeping on a pallet. On the floor. In the presence of a jump-off. Get real.
-Malik's admittance that he and Robin Givens "pulled a Nick and Mariah." Plus 1 for Hollywood backstabbing!
-Plus 4 for Kelly's request for $30 million. Hit him where it hurts, sister. Psychologically speaking, though. She is entitled to half of his $50 mil.
-Plus another 4 for "steroids": game, set, match. Only, Kelly is too good of a person to actually go through with it; Jason's the scumbbag. He would use her past against her if he could, not the other way around.
Faker than Kelly's Divorced Brunette Hair
-Jason just STOLE from Derwin?! That's not remotely funny--especially since we don't get a good reason for it other than he's such. an. asshole. Minus 3
-Minus 2 for Malik being mad that his groupie posted pictures of him. Um, hello? You have a live-feed of malikwright.com--you are not modest.
-Actually, Minus 3 for this whole fake marriage...Malik is getting a raw deal.
-The digital cable commercial breaks even: Minus 1 for Tia Mowry's Carol Brady haircut but Plus 1 for Wendy Raquel Robinson's cute bob.
-WTF? MORE stealing? Where have these people learned right and wrong? But Minus only 1 because she gave it back and explained herself.
-Minus 2 for Tasha's "I'm from the hood" shpiel--it's getting a leeetle annoying.
-Minus 2 for Mel's summarization-slash-justification of her maybe relationship with Derwin/Mehcati. Bitch, what are you talking about? She made no sense.
-Minus 3 for Malik's interview...if the Sabres are so good, shouldn't they be talking about the upcoming Super Bowl? His publicist wouldn't have allowed anything else--it's distracting.
So there you have it, like I said, doing a 30 minute show is nowhere as complex as an hour one, but it was fun...
PS--I'm still sickly. And frankly, kind of annoyed about it.
Realer than Melanie Still Thinking Wide Scarves are Majorly Trendy
-Plus 2 for Derwin's Pilates band. Athletes are secretly into girly exercises like water aerobics and yoga and stuff. Would have scored higher had Derwin been in the middle of Total Body Sculpt with Gilad on Fit TV.
-Plus 3 for Derwin inadvertently not taking back the money Jason stole...everybody is turning into a foil for Jason--he looks bad in comparison to just about every character.
-Plus 4 for Mel having "struggling student" downpat: self-parking, big "trendy" scarf at popular spot, woefully knockoff bag. Some of us are still in that phase...
-The whole exchange is kind of awkward--Kelly and Tasha are better at banter that Mel and Tasha are. But Plus 1 because in this case poor acting is kind of disguised: maybe Tasha, Mel, and Kelly haven't hung out since the hiatus.
-The 3 Ferarris(?) in a row/Jason's deal: Plus 3 because DAYUM, but also because of course Jason just does not get that it's not about the money. Writers, why does he not get it? Either we need more backstory or we must contend that he really is a jerk.
-"Not outlet mall Gucci, but mall-mall Gucci." Plus 1
-Plus 2 for Robin's performance: the pyschobabble and TV appearances that only not-so famous do? Her marriage is circling the drain and she knows it.
-Additional Plus 1 for "Read a...listen to an audiobook."
-Tasha, on Kelly's newly acquired millions: "I got some old friends that could flip it!" Plus 3 because ain't that the truth: turning money into more money is how the newly rich stay rich/get richer, and Tasha knows it. Also as an agent she's probably seen many an player wife squander her ex-husband's cash and knows better...
-Plus 3 for Jason's childish--and so accurate--behavior at the divorce hearing: whispering, silent gestures...nothing says "I'm ignoring you" more than texting someone who's at the same table.
-If we had no other proof Jason is an asshole, he had to try and get full custody of Brittany. Plus only 1 because it's so cliche, though. Jase, you had the girl sleeping on a pallet. On the floor. In the presence of a jump-off. Get real.
-Malik's admittance that he and Robin Givens "pulled a Nick and Mariah." Plus 1 for Hollywood backstabbing!
-Plus 4 for Kelly's request for $30 million. Hit him where it hurts, sister. Psychologically speaking, though. She is entitled to half of his $50 mil.
-Plus another 4 for "steroids": game, set, match. Only, Kelly is too good of a person to actually go through with it; Jason's the scumbbag. He would use her past against her if he could, not the other way around.
Faker than Kelly's Divorced Brunette Hair
-Jason just STOLE from Derwin?! That's not remotely funny--especially since we don't get a good reason for it other than he's such. an. asshole. Minus 3
-Minus 2 for Malik being mad that his groupie posted pictures of him. Um, hello? You have a live-feed of malikwright.com--you are not modest.
-Actually, Minus 3 for this whole fake marriage...Malik is getting a raw deal.
-The digital cable commercial breaks even: Minus 1 for Tia Mowry's Carol Brady haircut but Plus 1 for Wendy Raquel Robinson's cute bob.
-WTF? MORE stealing? Where have these people learned right and wrong? But Minus only 1 because she gave it back and explained herself.
-Minus 2 for Tasha's "I'm from the hood" shpiel--it's getting a leeetle annoying.
-Minus 2 for Mel's summarization-slash-justification of her maybe relationship with Derwin/Mehcati. Bitch, what are you talking about? She made no sense.
-Minus 3 for Malik's interview...if the Sabres are so good, shouldn't they be talking about the upcoming Super Bowl? His publicist wouldn't have allowed anything else--it's distracting.
So there you have it, like I said, doing a 30 minute show is nowhere as complex as an hour one, but it was fun...
PS--I'm still sickly. And frankly, kind of annoyed about it.
Monday, January 5, 2009
One Tree Hill Reality Index
The mighty New York Magazine, of Go Fug Yourself fame, recaps Gossip Girl and sometimes, the Hills, every week, and it is nothing short of stupendous each time. I want to meet Chris and Jessica so bad! But until that happens, I decided to give recapping a show a shot. Except, knowing I couldn't do their GG posts justice, I did One Tree Hill instead. So, here's a very unscientific tally of what was real and what wasn't in this week's episode. Onward, bound!
Realer than Nathan Feeling Entitled to Wear #23 For the Rest of His Career
-True to Leyton form, the news of Peyton's pregnancy is only met with "I love yous," squinting, and happy tears. Remember when Haley was pregnant? She freaked out--and rightfully so! Peyton and Lucas are so blissfully unaware of how the world works. Plus 3, though, because they are older and they are, you know, Meant For Each Other. We deserve the right to renege if there isn't any "gonna be a parent" freakout in a future episode.
-Mouth's secret feelings of inadequacy fuel both of his arguments: first, he thinks Millie has no reason to come crawling back to him, then he has no choice to get mad because those feelings are totally validated when she manages to sleep with Owen the hot bartender. Plus 3 for Millie letting Mouth know that she does, indeed, got it like that.
-Brooke totally has on a "quest to find my missing daughter" jacket. With what looks like Chuck Taylors. We have never seen this before; she must be seriously distressed. Plus 3
-Plus 4 for "Protect and serve, my ass!" Cliche, but who hasn't wanted to say that to a non-helpful officer of the law?
-Plus 4 for Haley being so happy when Nate got the call. Finally! she thinks. Two paychecks!
-Plus 5 for those shots of Nathan's bulging biceps. Ooo-er.
-Even though it's been a while since elementary school, it's nice to know that "Pizza Fridays" are still something to look forward to. Plus 2 because I still usually only eat pizza on Fridays.
-Speaking of which, the B-League doesn't actually exist. Plus 2 if they actually meant the D-League, which really is like minor-league basketball, because then it's realistic that only 1 or 2 players has a shot to go pro.
-North Carolina really did used to have a D-League team. Plus 3 for recognizing the market.
-Plus 2 for that hideous Charleston Chiefs jersey. It's so fitting to let players know that they are not actually in the NBA by giving them ugly jerseys.
-Plus 3 for Mia's "Whoa, blast from the past!" about the hoodie, because everyone says that when presented with their old clothes.
-Jamie is kind of gullible for believing when Andre says that his mother gave him permission, but Plus 2, because when you're a kid, thinking you have permission to do something is almost the same as actua
lly having it.
-Also, Plus 2 for Jamie leaving a note. He's been kidnapped before, he knows what's up.
-That Jack Daniels (if that's his real name) is bad news: he should've helped Sam out the window first, but Plus 2 because it's so in character that he'd jump out first--kid is kind of dumb.
-Plus 3 for Jamie saying, "We should Google that." All of the adults in his life are like 22. All we do is Google stuff.
-Plus 1 for Andre and Jamie. They're so cute together, and a virtual high-five for not making Andre the comedic sidekick (ahem, Skills).
-Plus 1 for Brooke still trying to be a cool mom, in spite of being in way over her head, by not taking Peyton along to rescue Sam.
-Luke just could not wait to say, "I just found out I'm going to be a father." He's kind of douchey, and that statement will give him a pass to justify just about anything. Plus 2
-Haley figures out that Peyton's preggers in like, a second. Plus 2 because she's so much smarter than everyone else. She even knows not to rain on Peyton's parade because everyone kind of rained on hers when she got knocked up.
-They killed Uncle Keith, Jimmy Edwards, and Nanny Carrie, but Brooke takes the High Road and doesn't kill her assailant. Plus 1 because she's a) a Changed Woman, 2) not Dan Scott.
Faker than Nathan Going to Practice in Skinny Jeans
-Minus 2 for Peyton's absurdly long fingernails. She strikes me as a nail biter.
-This has been bothering me for awhile: why is Naley in the black, pushing Range Rovers? His shoe deal that wasn't? Please. If Nate's downfall was drastic enough to hurt his rep, wouldn't we see finance ramifications, too? Minus 4
-If Sam doesn't get better backstory, like why she's soo important the whole town's looking for her, she's gotta go. Minus 4 because her presence annoys me.
-This episode reeked of The Devil Wears Prada. Devon calling Nate "15" is the new, "Wake up, six." And Paul wanting to fire Julian was very Bart Bass meets Miranda Priestly. Minus only 2, because at least Paul didn't demand that Lucas fire Julian.
-This deserves a separate point: why are all of Nathan's black teammates so mean to him? Quentin, those guys at the combine, this Devon character? WTF? It's like Mark Schwann still thinks he's making Coach Carter. Minus 4
-When Nate's playing ball he gets his shot blocked. Minus 2 because didn't Quentin teach him anything?
-How, exactly, is the Murdering Older Brother trying to play his interaction with Brooke? Is he trying to be mysterious, because he's actually acting kind of gay. Minus 3
-Ok. This must be Sophia Bush's horror movie career side coming out...this guy beat
your ass, what would posess you to go back inside? Minus only 1, because we later see that she's armed. She clearly is not thinking straight, what with all that latent leftover anger.
-Finally, Minus 2 for Lucas bringing Peyton a rose. She is so not a roses girl.
So there you have it, folks! If you don't watch One Tree Hill then this was probably boring for you, but I just wanted to take a stab at filling Daily Intel's shoes (learned: it's hard to be clever and snarky!). Maybe I'll do another show soon. Hope you enjoyed it! PS, I would actually add them up, but I'm too lazy...
Realer than Nathan Feeling Entitled to Wear #23 For the Rest of His Career
-True to Leyton form, the news of Peyton's pregnancy is only met with "I love yous," squinting, and happy tears. Remember when Haley was pregnant? She freaked out--and rightfully so! Peyton and Lucas are so blissfully unaware of how the world works. Plus 3, though, because they are older and they are, you know, Meant For Each Other. We deserve the right to renege if there isn't any "gonna be a parent" freakout in a future episode.
-Mouth's secret feelings of inadequacy fuel both of his arguments: first, he thinks Millie has no reason to come crawling back to him, then he has no choice to get mad because those feelings are totally validated when she manages to sleep with Owen the hot bartender. Plus 3 for Millie letting Mouth know that she does, indeed, got it like that.
-Brooke totally has on a "quest to find my missing daughter" jacket. With what looks like Chuck Taylors. We have never seen this before; she must be seriously distressed. Plus 3
-Plus 4 for "Protect and serve, my ass!" Cliche, but who hasn't wanted to say that to a non-helpful officer of the law?
-Plus 4 for Haley being so happy when Nate got the call. Finally! she thinks. Two paychecks!
-Plus 5 for those shots of Nathan's bulging biceps. Ooo-er.
-Even though it's been a while since elementary school, it's nice to know that "Pizza Fridays" are still something to look forward to. Plus 2 because I still usually only eat pizza on Fridays.
-Speaking of which, the B-League doesn't actually exist. Plus 2 if they actually meant the D-League, which really is like minor-league basketball, because then it's realistic that only 1 or 2 players has a shot to go pro.
-North Carolina really did used to have a D-League team. Plus 3 for recognizing the market.
-Plus 2 for that hideous Charleston Chiefs jersey. It's so fitting to let players know that they are not actually in the NBA by giving them ugly jerseys.
-Plus 3 for Mia's "Whoa, blast from the past!" about the hoodie, because everyone says that when presented with their old clothes.
-Jamie is kind of gullible for believing when Andre says that his mother gave him permission, but Plus 2, because when you're a kid, thinking you have permission to do something is almost the same as actua
lly having it.-Also, Plus 2 for Jamie leaving a note. He's been kidnapped before, he knows what's up.
-That Jack Daniels (if that's his real name) is bad news: he should've helped Sam out the window first, but Plus 2 because it's so in character that he'd jump out first--kid is kind of dumb.
-Plus 3 for Jamie saying, "We should Google that." All of the adults in his life are like 22. All we do is Google stuff.
-Plus 1 for Andre and Jamie. They're so cute together, and a virtual high-five for not making Andre the comedic sidekick (ahem, Skills).
-Plus 1 for Brooke still trying to be a cool mom, in spite of being in way over her head, by not taking Peyton along to rescue Sam.
-Luke just could not wait to say, "I just found out I'm going to be a father." He's kind of douchey, and that statement will give him a pass to justify just about anything. Plus 2
-Haley figures out that Peyton's preggers in like, a second. Plus 2 because she's so much smarter than everyone else. She even knows not to rain on Peyton's parade because everyone kind of rained on hers when she got knocked up.
-They killed Uncle Keith, Jimmy Edwards, and Nanny Carrie, but Brooke takes the High Road and doesn't kill her assailant. Plus 1 because she's a) a Changed Woman, 2) not Dan Scott.
Faker than Nathan Going to Practice in Skinny Jeans
-Minus 2 for Peyton's absurdly long fingernails. She strikes me as a nail biter.
-This has been bothering me for awhile: why is Naley in the black, pushing Range Rovers? His shoe deal that wasn't? Please. If Nate's downfall was drastic enough to hurt his rep, wouldn't we see finance ramifications, too? Minus 4
-If Sam doesn't get better backstory, like why she's soo important the whole town's looking for her, she's gotta go. Minus 4 because her presence annoys me.
-This episode reeked of The Devil Wears Prada. Devon calling Nate "15" is the new, "Wake up, six." And Paul wanting to fire Julian was very Bart Bass meets Miranda Priestly. Minus only 2, because at least Paul didn't demand that Lucas fire Julian.
-This deserves a separate point: why are all of Nathan's black teammates so mean to him? Quentin, those guys at the combine, this Devon character? WTF? It's like Mark Schwann still thinks he's making Coach Carter. Minus 4
-When Nate's playing ball he gets his shot blocked. Minus 2 because didn't Quentin teach him anything?
-How, exactly, is the Murdering Older Brother trying to play his interaction with Brooke? Is he trying to be mysterious, because he's actually acting kind of gay. Minus 3
-Ok. This must be Sophia Bush's horror movie career side coming out...this guy beat
your ass, what would posess you to go back inside? Minus only 1, because we later see that she's armed. She clearly is not thinking straight, what with all that latent leftover anger.
-Finally, Minus 2 for Lucas bringing Peyton a rose. She is so not a roses girl.
So there you have it, folks! If you don't watch One Tree Hill then this was probably boring for you, but I just wanted to take a stab at filling Daily Intel's shoes (learned: it's hard to be clever and snarky!). Maybe I'll do another show soon. Hope you enjoyed it! PS, I would actually add them up, but I'm too lazy...
Friday, January 2, 2009
Liveblogging The Pistons Game
Since I've been [obsessing] talking about it for so long, I thought it would be fun to liveblog the day of the basketball game (tonight at 8pm). Warning: it's long. Who knew this was so much fun?
-Crikey, I woke up late. I need to wash clothes to have something to wear for the men of my dreams.
-My mom and sister were supposed to leave like a half hour ago. Why are they still here? WHY am I still in bed?
-Urgh. A lotta laundry to carry downstairs.
-General Hospital's on. Damn, it must be past three o'clock. Oops.
-Colors safely in the wash. Hungry. A Pop-Tart seems good.
-WHO ATE THE LAST POP-TART????
-Oh, never mind. Here's the last one. Scrumptious.
-Still hungry. Contemplate eating donut as well.
-Compromise by eating half a donut and some orange juice instead. Why am I not 300 lbs? Have no idea.
-Oh, dear. My hair needs...doing. Plug in flat-iron.
-Check e-mail while waiting. Nothing good.
-What am I going to wear tonight? Make sister Google pictures of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens at Lakers games for ideas.
-All pictures are of couples. Will not feel bad today--have FIVE men waiting for me.
-Perform ablutions. I feel nauseous. WTF? Maybe Pop-Tart/donut/toothpaste idea was not a winning one.
-Ever notice that when you feel the least bit queasy, your imagination immediately brings up things that really do disgust you?
-Am making self sick. Must stop.
-Saw an episode of CSI that said smiling suppresses the gag reflex. Am grinning like an idiot to beat churning stomach.
-Find pictures of Sophia Bush online. She is a cute, compact little person even leaving a nail salon. Why can't I be a cute, compact little person??
-Am too tall, curvy, and hate ironing, is why.
-Tried to flat-iron hair. Lose interest after first two strokes. Persevere. Satisfied with half/various sections tended to.
-Put second load of laundry in. Might just be on schedule after all.
-Ever since I pulled my computer back from the brink of death I have no full CDs on my ITunes. I thought I wouldn't mind at first but I do. Must begin tedious task of loading them onto my Ipod.
-CD case is downstairs and I am not. Perhaps another day, then.
-This is the first Pistons game I've gone to not wearing ceremonial attire. -Am SO unprepared. All the celebs are [with their boyfriends] wearing high heels. Lent my Manolo's to Beyonce so am out of luck on that front. Plus it snowed last night--it's cold, dammit.
-Except try as I might to think otherwise, wearing a dress and heels to a sporting event reeks of Trying Too Hard and brands you as one of THOSE girls who have no idea what's going on in the game.
-Surely there must be a happy medium.
-I'm going to wear my new purple boots. Festive, not fussy.
-Nothing in my wardrobe matches purple boots. What was I THINKING?
-Gray t-shirt, skinny jeans, purple boots. Option #1.
-John Travolta's 16-year-old son died...so sad...
-Skinny jeans are in the dryer still. I never put them in the dryer, but I needed them to wear tonight. What if they're not dry in time? What if they SHRINK?
-Run downstairs.
-30 minutes left on dryer. Sigh. Plus, all my good bras are still wet. Why can't I wake up early like a responsible adult? Why?
-On second thought, where did that gray t-shirt come from? Look closer.
-Oh, damn, forgot. That's not a regular t-shirt, that's a XXL "Property of Clemson Athletics" shirt I bought last week! Damn!
-Maybe I'll just go naked. Anyone? Anyone?
-Purple stripey sweater, skinny jeans, purple boots. Option #2.
-Garage door opens. Who's that? Mom. Might not be too happy with my lack of progress.
-Quickly run downstairs to get makeup.
-Not Mom, it's Dad. Says we must leave by 6:45. It is 5:20 and I'm in pajamas, Middle Sister's not home, Little Sister is still in a towel. This might not end well.
-I WILL us to make it on time.
-Where is my phone??
-Oh, here on the kitchen table. Typical.
-Grab dry pants, leave everything else in laundry room.
-Yum, jeans straight out of the dryer are nice and toasty.
-Oof, but tight.
-Ok, skinny jeans with sweater and knee high boots...looks kind of...tawdry...
-Am convinced I look ok. Harass sisters for 2nd and 3rd opinions. They cosign.
-All leave house, pile into car ahead enough of schedule to swing by McDonald's.
-Mmmm chicken nuggets.
-Damn, that's a lot of traffic. For a good cause, though. Go 'Stones!
-$10 for parking is highway robbery.
-We're heeeeeeeere!
-This parking lot is huge...Gawd, it's cold.
-My sisters don't like my boots. Say they would have told me but I was too busy running around saying things like "People, people, why are we not dressed?" and "Come on, now, time is money!"
-Am now self-conscious.
-And in slightly bad mood.
-No line at Will Call. Sweet.
-Will Call Lady taking absurdly long time finding our tickets. I ordered them, I swear I did! Ohmygod if this goes wrong I will be soo embarrassed not to mention pissed off--$10 parking!--where are those tickets?!
-Whew. She found them.
-My extraordinary planning skills have gotten us ticket package with gift cards to concession stands.
-Still annoyed about poor outfit choice.
-Hmm, seats aren't bad. High, but good view.
-Game starts...YAY fireworks and "The Final Countdown!"
-Am slightly misty-eyed.
-Wipe eyes under pretense of scratching nose.
-Go to bathroom at halftime, scrutinize outfit, leave confused. Do I look ok or not?
-Want to ask stranger. Refrain and slink to concessions.
-Yick. Soft pretzel tastes disappointingly like plain old bread.
-Little Sister gives me her ice cream. All is forgiven.
-Drunken people in the row below are looking to "get the party started." Amusing.
-Great second half, scream loudly. Sing along to "Shout" and participate in The Wave.
-Middle Sister even gets into game. By Jove, I think we've got it!
-Game's getting close. "The Final Countdown" plays again! Rodney Stuckey has 38 points!
-I LOVE THE PISTONS.
-We win, exit happily.
-Unceremonious drive home, thinking next time will just say "sod it" and wear t-shirt and jeans after all.
-Rifle through drawers at home, find Pistons nightshirt. Shirt big enough to be pretend boyfriend's instead of last year's Christmas present from auntie.
-Little Sister begs to watch a movie. Wrestling is involved as method of persuasion.
-Fashion Student calls. The girls are going to Canada tomorrow evening. Am going along. Will not get drunk--have no money for hotel and must come home same night.
-Soak cartilage piercing in salt water. Have been bad, have not done so in days.
-It stings a little. Am worried.
-Lean over sink studying ear in mirror. Gasp dramatically. Piercing looks gross! Am worried even more.
-Google "infected cartilage piercing."
-Yahoo Answers extremely reassuring.
-Sigh with relief: must not take earring out under any circumstance (prospect of wasting $55 scarier than prospect of ear falling off).
-Resolve to see doctor upon returning to school: want to avoid "should not have done it in the first place" lecture from mother. Surely stern "tut, tut" sounds will be made.
-Am watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Kate Hudson another cute, compact person. With annoyingly cute little Knicks jersey.
-More feelings of inferiority.
-In movie, fictional Knicks are playing fictional Sacramento Kings--I totes just saw them a few hours ago! Fictional because a) the actors are so clearly not the actual players and 2) the Knicks and Kings would never play in the Finals.
-Wish for future job to include rooftop martinis during workday.
-Remember do not like vodka. But perhaps afternoon tequila is too much to ask for.
-"Put a muzzle on your old lady the next time you bring her in public!"
-Wonder why Matthew McConaghey attempts to nuzzle in Kate's breasts when she OBVIOUSLY has none. But I sympathize.
-MM is still sexy.
-"A woman loves a man who can cook." I guess.
-Fictional Sportscenter referred to Earl Monroe. I met him last year! Earl the Pearl!
I would continue but I feel like liveblogging a movie is worthy of a whole separate post. Plus Little Sister keeps giving me the side-eye for typing during "our time," so I must bid y'all adieu. She has a hefty kick for someone of her size.
Totals: 2 loads of laundry complete, 1 amazing basketball game, 2 dejected purple boots, 1 possibly infected ear.
-Crikey, I woke up late. I need to wash clothes to have something to wear for the men of my dreams.
-My mom and sister were supposed to leave like a half hour ago. Why are they still here? WHY am I still in bed?
-Urgh. A lotta laundry to carry downstairs.
-General Hospital's on. Damn, it must be past three o'clock. Oops.
-Colors safely in the wash. Hungry. A Pop-Tart seems good.
-WHO ATE THE LAST POP-TART????
-Oh, never mind. Here's the last one. Scrumptious.
-Still hungry. Contemplate eating donut as well.
-Compromise by eating half a donut and some orange juice instead. Why am I not 300 lbs? Have no idea.
-Oh, dear. My hair needs...doing. Plug in flat-iron.
-Check e-mail while waiting. Nothing good.
-What am I going to wear tonight? Make sister Google pictures of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens at Lakers games for ideas.
-All pictures are of couples. Will not feel bad today--have FIVE men waiting for me.
-Perform ablutions. I feel nauseous. WTF? Maybe Pop-Tart/donut/toothpaste idea was not a winning one.
-Ever notice that when you feel the least bit queasy, your imagination immediately brings up things that really do disgust you?
-Am making self sick. Must stop.
-Saw an episode of CSI that said smiling suppresses the gag reflex. Am grinning like an idiot to beat churning stomach.
-Find pictures of Sophia Bush online. She is a cute, compact little person even leaving a nail salon. Why can't I be a cute, compact little person??
-Am too tall, curvy, and hate ironing, is why.
-Tried to flat-iron hair. Lose interest after first two strokes. Persevere. Satisfied with half/various sections tended to.
-Put second load of laundry in. Might just be on schedule after all.
-Ever since I pulled my computer back from the brink of death I have no full CDs on my ITunes. I thought I wouldn't mind at first but I do. Must begin tedious task of loading them onto my Ipod.
-CD case is downstairs and I am not. Perhaps another day, then.
-This is the first Pistons game I've gone to not wearing ceremonial attire. -Am SO unprepared. All the celebs are [with their boyfriends] wearing high heels. Lent my Manolo's to Beyonce so am out of luck on that front. Plus it snowed last night--it's cold, dammit.
-Except try as I might to think otherwise, wearing a dress and heels to a sporting event reeks of Trying Too Hard and brands you as one of THOSE girls who have no idea what's going on in the game.
-Surely there must be a happy medium.
-I'm going to wear my new purple boots. Festive, not fussy.
-Nothing in my wardrobe matches purple boots. What was I THINKING?
-Gray t-shirt, skinny jeans, purple boots. Option #1.
-John Travolta's 16-year-old son died...so sad...
-Skinny jeans are in the dryer still. I never put them in the dryer, but I needed them to wear tonight. What if they're not dry in time? What if they SHRINK?
-Run downstairs.
-30 minutes left on dryer. Sigh. Plus, all my good bras are still wet. Why can't I wake up early like a responsible adult? Why?
-On second thought, where did that gray t-shirt come from? Look closer.
-Oh, damn, forgot. That's not a regular t-shirt, that's a XXL "Property of Clemson Athletics" shirt I bought last week! Damn!
-Maybe I'll just go naked. Anyone? Anyone?
-Purple stripey sweater, skinny jeans, purple boots. Option #2.
-Garage door opens. Who's that? Mom. Might not be too happy with my lack of progress.
-Quickly run downstairs to get makeup.
-Not Mom, it's Dad. Says we must leave by 6:45. It is 5:20 and I'm in pajamas, Middle Sister's not home, Little Sister is still in a towel. This might not end well.
-I WILL us to make it on time.
-Where is my phone??
-Oh, here on the kitchen table. Typical.
-Grab dry pants, leave everything else in laundry room.
-Yum, jeans straight out of the dryer are nice and toasty.
-Oof, but tight.
-Ok, skinny jeans with sweater and knee high boots...looks kind of...tawdry...
-Am convinced I look ok. Harass sisters for 2nd and 3rd opinions. They cosign.
-All leave house, pile into car ahead enough of schedule to swing by McDonald's.
-Mmmm chicken nuggets.
-Damn, that's a lot of traffic. For a good cause, though. Go 'Stones!
-$10 for parking is highway robbery.
-We're heeeeeeeere!
-This parking lot is huge...Gawd, it's cold.
-My sisters don't like my boots. Say they would have told me but I was too busy running around saying things like "People, people, why are we not dressed?" and "Come on, now, time is money!"
-Am now self-conscious.
-And in slightly bad mood.
-No line at Will Call. Sweet.
-Will Call Lady taking absurdly long time finding our tickets. I ordered them, I swear I did! Ohmygod if this goes wrong I will be soo embarrassed not to mention pissed off--$10 parking!--where are those tickets?!
-Whew. She found them.
-My extraordinary planning skills have gotten us ticket package with gift cards to concession stands.
-Still annoyed about poor outfit choice.
-Hmm, seats aren't bad. High, but good view.
-Game starts...YAY fireworks and "The Final Countdown!"
-Am slightly misty-eyed.
-Wipe eyes under pretense of scratching nose.
-Go to bathroom at halftime, scrutinize outfit, leave confused. Do I look ok or not?
-Want to ask stranger. Refrain and slink to concessions.
-Yick. Soft pretzel tastes disappointingly like plain old bread.
-Little Sister gives me her ice cream. All is forgiven.
-Drunken people in the row below are looking to "get the party started." Amusing.
-Great second half, scream loudly. Sing along to "Shout" and participate in The Wave.
-Middle Sister even gets into game. By Jove, I think we've got it!
-Game's getting close. "The Final Countdown" plays again! Rodney Stuckey has 38 points!
-I LOVE THE PISTONS.
-We win, exit happily.
-Unceremonious drive home, thinking next time will just say "sod it" and wear t-shirt and jeans after all.
-Rifle through drawers at home, find Pistons nightshirt. Shirt big enough to be pretend boyfriend's instead of last year's Christmas present from auntie.
-Little Sister begs to watch a movie. Wrestling is involved as method of persuasion.
-Fashion Student calls. The girls are going to Canada tomorrow evening. Am going along. Will not get drunk--have no money for hotel and must come home same night.
-Soak cartilage piercing in salt water. Have been bad, have not done so in days.
-It stings a little. Am worried.
-Lean over sink studying ear in mirror. Gasp dramatically. Piercing looks gross! Am worried even more.
-Google "infected cartilage piercing."
-Yahoo Answers extremely reassuring.
-Sigh with relief: must not take earring out under any circumstance (prospect of wasting $55 scarier than prospect of ear falling off).
-Resolve to see doctor upon returning to school: want to avoid "should not have done it in the first place" lecture from mother. Surely stern "tut, tut" sounds will be made.
-Am watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Kate Hudson another cute, compact person. With annoyingly cute little Knicks jersey.
-More feelings of inferiority.
-In movie, fictional Knicks are playing fictional Sacramento Kings--I totes just saw them a few hours ago! Fictional because a) the actors are so clearly not the actual players and 2) the Knicks and Kings would never play in the Finals.
-Wish for future job to include rooftop martinis during workday.
-Remember do not like vodka. But perhaps afternoon tequila is too much to ask for.
-"Put a muzzle on your old lady the next time you bring her in public!"
-Wonder why Matthew McConaghey attempts to nuzzle in Kate's breasts when she OBVIOUSLY has none. But I sympathize.
-MM is still sexy.
-"A woman loves a man who can cook." I guess.
-Fictional Sportscenter referred to Earl Monroe. I met him last year! Earl the Pearl!
I would continue but I feel like liveblogging a movie is worthy of a whole separate post. Plus Little Sister keeps giving me the side-eye for typing during "our time," so I must bid y'all adieu. She has a hefty kick for someone of her size.
Totals: 2 loads of laundry complete, 1 amazing basketball game, 2 dejected purple boots, 1 possibly infected ear.
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