Train Wreck (followed by happier holiday post)

I am home, folks. Praise Jeebus.

A lot of you (ok, nobody) asked how that thing went, and, to put it mildly, it was disastrous. I showed up 15 minutes late to the interview--thanks a bundle, inept drivers and pouring rain--and she basically was unimpressed from there...you know how PR people are. Not quite friendly except when they have to "network" and even then they don't exactly give off raging tides of goodwill towards mankind. So, yeah, even though I gave what I thought were amazing answers to her questions and having secured a great word-of-mouth recommendation from Hot Boss, I still sulked out of there embarrassed, forlorn, and probably without a spring internship, thinking, "I suck." What a way to end my semester...thank God a few hours later I was on an airplane headed home.

I have, then, resolved to use this time off to resolve the gaping holes in my career strategy. I'm going to work on things like being aggressive and proactive, following up, making and keeping contacts, and figuring out, once and for all, just what the bloody hell I want to do with my life after college. I feel like Bridget Jones, except I already have a diary (and you guys, of course).

I still feel rather slacker-y and dumb being here without any prospects on the horizon. Even the fact that the holidays are my favorite time of year can't keep me from feeling like a partial, if not total, failure. Like I'm behind or something, like I'm not legit...sometimes I think that I don't really have the chops to make it in the business and all my previous gigs have just been luck. Sigh. It's the end of the year, I suppose, that's making me all reflective of the past year, and how I wish some things could have gone differently in order to yield a better outcome or at least make me feel better about myself now...does that make sense? I want to be better, of course, I just can't quite figure out how. It's a control thing--figuring out what I can change and what I can't. Maybe I'll get a self-help book; I tend to wander around aimlessly with nothing but an idea and a song in my head, instead of actually having a solid game plan.

Ooh, speaking of games, here's how I can cheer myself up: I'm going to a Pistons game next month. I haven't been in years. God I can't wait...

Have we been making our Christmas lists and checking them twice, dears? A digital camera, both Kanye West's and Fall Out Boy's new CDs, and either season 5 of One Tree Hill or season 1 of the "Bernie Mac Show" are all on mine...please share! I'm doing Secret Santa with my sisters, like we do every year (yes there are only 3 of us. Shut up), but this year, we're thinking about adding Little Cousin to the circle. Could be fun. I always cheat on SS anyway, and buy both my sisters gifts. I can't help it, I absolutely LOVE giving gifts...

What could also be fun is spending hours at the mall, picking out presents, then driving through the snow, wrapping them up, then debating whether or not to put them under the tree now or wait until the 24th, and seeing my fam's faces when they open my (yet to be bought) super-cool gifts...OMG someone just put on the Temptations' Christmas CD, and the other day at CVS I heard "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" from N*SYNC's*** Christmas album, which I totally had, back in the day, ON CASSETTE, no less. I even had a dream that Justin (curly-haired JT, not buzz-cut JT) came home with me for the holidays. I HAVE to find that CD.



***Oh, God, I love N*SYNC...

Things I Cannot Wait For (besides the aforementioned, and besides presents)
-Hey Arnold Christmas episode
-the Rugrats Christmas epsode
-the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Christmas episode
-Gossip Girl season 1 Christmas episode
-pecan pie
-Santa hats
-parties
-Celtics @ LA Lakers on Christmas
-annual family party games (don't hate)

I am so in my happy place right now.

PS: to any of our Jewish/non-Christmas celebrating brethren, my holiday greetings extend to you as well. Come one, come all, I say :)