Wardrobe Malfunctions

Let's be drama-free for an evening (yeah, right!).

Today I was inspired upon leaving school to go to Whole Foods Market. Flowers were blooming and there were huge oranges on sale, with cut-up slices for shoppers to taste. At first, I didn't want to try one (swine flu and all...what? That's what I honestly thought for a split second. Lame, I know), but I'm glad I did because they were quite succulent. I meant to sneak another one but I forgot.

Anyway, I went in for a mango. One mango. I came out with peach Tazo tea, potato chips, and this stuff called some Almond Glow Jasmine Skin Lotion, which is actually more like oil. I'm about to hop in the shower and try it, to see if I can jump on the "green" beauty train.

Omg, I forgot. I had business to take care of at school today which called for "business professional" which I am quite good at, so I pulled out this button-down I'd actually never worn before. 'Twas kinda tight but I figured it would loosen up before I left the house. Um, no ma'am. I leaned down to put my shoe on, and a button popped off! I blamed it on the cheapness of the shirt and kept it moving. Before long, all of my subsequent movements send a button flying through the air! It was actually humbling. And by humbling I mean vaguely mortifying, cartoonish shenanigans. Missing half the buttons on Shirt #1 yet determined to keep my original aesthetic, I dug in the closet and found the same shirt in a different color. I put it on and walked towards the mirror...and a button popped off. This time I didn't wait, and pulled out Shirt #3, a last, last, last manuever. Or so I thought. THIS stupid shirt must have been in my room all day, observing and chuckling, because it was missing a button BEFORE I put it on, which I found out seconds later. I was so, so over it.

A slinky leopard-print blouse saved my life and my sanity. Leopard is just that mighty.