A Little Objectification Never Hurt Anyone

*Peeks in, ready to duck should projectiles be projected*

I have been bad. I have been neglecting you all. Take me back, baby, I'm sorry. I love you, I really do.

STELLLAAAAA!!!!!!!

Anyway.

I wish I could return with a happy post but today is just not the day. Eating feelings may have been involved. Here is what I am dealing with: my roommate has guests over: a gal-pal and, guess who else, her doting boyfriend. Said gal-pal, funnily enough, thinks it's precious to not call this young man by his government name, but instead refer to him simply as "Boyfriend." As in, "Boyfriend? Boyfriend, are you downstairs?" If that wasn't enough (and it never is), in one day I had to sit near Science Guy and his girlfriend and hear about the Smoker and his girlfriend.

Am I never to be free?

Not to mention attend a school pageant-like function which brings out the Who's Who of campus--legions of pretty, well-adjusted, coupled up people prancing around and blocking walkways with their fabulosity. Said people are extremely annoying and not easy to navigate around, especially when one has a painfully full bladder.

All three of us were in a bit of a funk today. We even had a "Daria" moment:
Ms. Politics: Look at all these happy people.
Cali Girl and Me together: I hate them.

Please factor in my PMS-ing, which translates roughly to feelings of depression, fatness, and fugliness, and we have a "God? Are you up there? No, for real, someone make sure he's still there because I am totally not sure that He is in the building taking calls," situation.

Maybe I'm not encapsulating properly the magnitude of my feelings of inferiority, but imagine feeling cruddy and being surrounded by these people who seemingly have everything YOU want and are flaunting it in front of you. Multiply that feeling by 7890 lbs of food and you will have, at this moment, me.

If it sounds like I am whining, it is because I AM.

Thank you and goodnight.

PS: not to undermine the sadnessosity of this post, but said sadness has been slightly alleviated because "Womanizer" is quite fun to sing out loud to with vigorous head-nodding and dramatic finger-pointing. Just so you know.

PPS: My first paycheck came in today. God may not be on my side today (I keed) but He surely is in my checking account. GLORY!