Sunday, March 30, 2008

If Your Heart is Nowhere in It...

Am I glad this week is over? Is the Pope Catholic?

4 blistering rejections, 1 minor tiff with the Boy (resolved), and papers galore is about the summary of my week. I can only pray that this week is marginally better than the last, because chile, I am only so much a woman.

Friday, my journalism class went to an Atlanta Hawks game as reporters. I was, to say the least, terrified, though basketball is my first love. Would it be too fast-paced? What if I froze at the press conference? What if I get mistaken for an NBA groupie?!?! Turns out, I had nothing to fear. I'd done my research, prepared my questions, and duh, have followed basketball since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. So basically it was like a fan-experience times 20. And yes, I got to go to the locker-room post-game. Glory. The girls in my class and I were the only female reporters. Which means that, should we become forerunners in the sports journalism field, we will be taking large steps for our race and gender. But that is a discussion for another time.

Things with the Boy are great. The crap in my head, however, is another story. He says he likes me a lot (and I adore him, of course), but I take stock in his actions more so than his words. His actions are generally just as good, though. I can't describe where my head's at when it comes to him and us. I don't know, he said something about how he felt about our "relationship," and it was like listening to my own thoughts. Weird, right? Again, I can't explain it. I think that my inexperience in the dating world is coming through, here. Like, what are the signs of not caring/loss of interest? Was he annoyed that I called? He's refreshingly honest, but that doesn't make him any easier to read without coming off suspicious or nagging or overly-concerned with our status. I think my problem is that I don't want to come on too strong or too involved so early in, but then that makes me pull away in the other direction. Does that make sense? Are you shaking your head yet, wondering how a girl get a great guy to fall into her lap and be scared shitless as a result? I really just need to get a grip, relax, and enjoy. For some reason, it's harder than it sounds. Baby, I don't want to screw this up, either. I really, really, really, like you. Simple as that.

Random: on Monday we get our Shakespeare midterm papers back. Oh, God! I'd skip classes altogether, but I'd like to say, down the road, that in the face of adversity (read: boredom), I buckled down and went to all my classes faithfully. I feel guilty and lazy when I don't go. But keep the television warm for me just in case, come Monday morning, I glance at the clock, snicker, and go back to sleep.


Cara said...

Hun, don't make the mistakes I make and overanalyse things between you and the boy. Just take each day as it comes and enjoy his company/attention.



Lucky said...

Chile that is the truth! I never understood how women could overanalyze relationship stuff, but that's 'cause I've never cared this much before. I really am trying to relax and enjoy, though!

Cara said...

You are doing the right thing :-) I am sure he would appreciate it.

I think we overanalyse because we want to make sure that the person really cares about us, and we want to know if we really care about them, because sometimes its easy to think you care about someone just because they seem so nice to you.

If you and the boy have chemistry...girl, you better stick to him! lol

Lucky said...

OMG...Cara you just summed up everything I'd been thinking but have been to inarticulate to say! At least for me, I feel like I have to "test" guys to make sure they're for real. Even when he's as nice as The Boy, I still can't be 100% easy-peasy. But as we can see, that can lead to headache. I'd better calm down before I drive him away! He's passing all my "tests" though, so that's a plus, I guess :)