Recapping "The Game"

I've become an addict to recapping--this time I did CW's The Game. This one was a little more difficult as, well, technically speaking, the show's not that good: not incredibly plot-rich or, let's be honest, well-acted. A solid following coupled with seeing some brown faces in a semi-decent, non-token way probably contributes to the show's getting a third season more than its oft-employed Shirtless Method of Acting does. But still, it's entertaining (well, if the Melanie-Derwin plotline picks back up it will be) so, here we go!

Realer than Melanie Still Thinking Wide Scarves are Majorly Trendy
-Plus 2 for Derwin's Pilates band. Athletes are secretly into girly exercises like water aerobics and yoga and stuff. Would have scored higher had Derwin been in the middle of Total Body Sculpt with Gilad on Fit TV.
-Plus 3 for Derwin inadvertently not taking back the money Jason stole...everybody is turning into a foil for Jason--he looks bad in comparison to just about every character.
-Plus 4 for Mel having "struggling student" downpat: self-parking, big "trendy" scarf at popular spot, woefully knockoff bag. Some of us are still in that phase...
-The whole exchange is kind of awkward--Kelly and Tasha are better at banter that Mel and Tasha are. But Plus 1 because in this case poor acting is kind of disguised: maybe Tasha, Mel, and Kelly haven't hung out since the hiatus.
-The 3 Ferarris(?) in a row/Jason's deal: Plus 3 because DAYUM, but also because of course Jason just does not get that it's not about the money. Writers, why does he not get it? Either we need more backstory or we must contend that he really is a jerk.
-"Not outlet mall Gucci, but mall-mall Gucci." Plus 1
-Plus 2 for Robin's performance: the pyschobabble and TV appearances that only not-so famous do? Her marriage is circling the drain and she knows it.
-Additional Plus 1 for "Read a...listen to an audiobook."
-Tasha, on Kelly's newly acquired millions: "I got some old friends that could flip it!" Plus 3 because ain't that the truth: turning money into more money is how the newly rich stay rich/get richer, and Tasha knows it. Also as an agent she's probably seen many an player wife squander her ex-husband's cash and knows better...
-Plus 3 for Jason's childish--and so accurate--behavior at the divorce hearing: whispering, silent gestures...nothing says "I'm ignoring you" more than texting someone who's at the same table.
-If we had no other proof Jason is an asshole, he had to try and get full custody of Brittany. Plus only 1 because it's so cliche, though. Jase, you had the girl sleeping on a pallet. On the floor. In the presence of a jump-off. Get real.
-Malik's admittance that he and Robin Givens "pulled a Nick and Mariah." Plus 1 for Hollywood backstabbing!
-Plus 4 for Kelly's request for $30 million. Hit him where it hurts, sister. Psychologically speaking, though. She is entitled to half of his $50 mil.
-Plus another 4 for "steroids": game, set, match. Only, Kelly is too good of a person to actually go through with it; Jason's the scumbbag. He would use her past against her if he could, not the other way around.

Faker than Kelly's Divorced Brunette Hair
-Jason just STOLE from Derwin?! That's not remotely funny--especially since we don't get a good reason for it other than he's such. an. asshole. Minus 3
-Minus 2 for Malik being mad that his groupie posted pictures of him. Um, hello? You have a live-feed of malikwright.com--you are not modest.
-Actually, Minus 3 for this whole fake marriage...Malik is getting a raw deal.
-The digital cable commercial breaks even: Minus 1 for Tia Mowry's Carol Brady haircut but Plus 1 for Wendy Raquel Robinson's cute bob.
-WTF? MORE stealing? Where have these people learned right and wrong? But Minus only 1 because she gave it back and explained herself.
-Minus 2 for Tasha's "I'm from the hood" shpiel--it's getting a leeetle annoying.
-Minus 2 for Mel's summarization-slash-justification of her maybe relationship with Derwin/Mehcati. Bitch, what are you talking about? She made no sense.
-Minus 3 for Malik's interview...if the Sabres are so good, shouldn't they be talking about the upcoming Super Bowl? His publicist wouldn't have allowed anything else--it's distracting.

So there you have it, like I said, doing a 30 minute show is nowhere as complex as an hour one, but it was fun...

PS--I'm still sickly. And frankly, kind of annoyed about it.