Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Lessons Not Always Learned

I still get seriously pensive in the shower.

About the same subject: friendship, expectations, etc. This time I was semi-productive and thought of a question. There are life lessons we learn early and stick to them, and then there are those that no matter what, still have to be beaten into our heads. Time and time again, the root of our problem goes back to the same adage we know but for some reason never live up to.

I'm curious to know you guys' lessons yet-to-be-learned. The one I have to repeatedly tell myself? If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Don't chase anybody or wait for someone else to validate your relationship. Especially if you've been the best person you know how to be or have done as much as you can to stay with or around that person. And somehow always end up on the defensive when it all comes crashing down.

It is very hard for me to cut people out of my life. I like to give the benefit of the doubt. I harbor the thought that one day things will be normal and balanced and open so there's no need to be premature we can just wait it out.

I don't like to cut people out myself, but in certain cases people walk out or disqualify themselves by their own actions. If I could hold people accountable I'd let people walk out and stay there, but I'm not quite there yet. In my head it's still a process of figuring out where to place people in my life who have the potential to hurt me. I guess the question remains, though, do those people even have a place at all? It is always all or nothing? A middle ground?


Anonymous said...

I'm exactly the same, it is very difficult to cut someone out of your life because it is scary to lose someone and *know* that nothing will ever change and you will never get what you want.

I can't think of a specific life lessons (other than that one) that I have yet to grasp - probably that Frenchie will *always* be late!


Single Black Male said...

I once had to pretty much counsel a girl i used to date on why keeping people around was a bad habit.

Yeah ... its hard ... and it does suck ... but 100 times better than keeping that poison in your system. Trust ...

Yours Truly said...

Sometimes you just have to let folks go. When someone shows you who they are, believe them! Seriously, you don't wanna wake up twenty years from now and be wondering why you are fighting to so hard in a losing battle!

Lucky said...

You guys all made excellent points, it's just a question of me actually practicing what y'all preach!

Amy: I am always a few minutes late, I'm working on it, swear!