Monday, August 11, 2008

And You Can't be an Idiot...Can You?

Note: Parental Advisory. Explicit Content.

She Can’t be a Whore…. Can She?

Every guy wants his girlfriend to have a little experience in the bedroom, right fellas? But my question today is, how much experience is too much experience. Guys, have you ever been with a woman that you really liked and she did something while making love that made you look at her a little different? Or what about when it comes down to oral sex, you never want your girl to be a pro. I know that may have sounded a little crazy but trust and believe, when your with that special lady, and she decides to go down on you, for the first 30 seconds it is going to be the best time of your life until your mind starts to wonder, ”She’s a little TOO GOOD at this, Damn! How many times has she practiced?” Now you cant even concentrate cause your thinking your girlfriend is a WHORE!

Just a little food for thought.

Okay. I was innocently blog-surfing and watching License to Wed (bad but delightful, as is my preference) when I came across this post from Distinguished Gentlemen. Apparently, this guy gets suspicious upon receiving...oh, I'll just say it, head, that's "too good." I'm going to go out on a limb here and ask just what, as many call, the fuck? As simply and briefly as possible, together we're going to break this down.

"When it comes down to oral sex, you never want your girl to be a pro."

I am so sure. Having many college-age male friends as reference points, I feel confident in raising my imaginary gavel with a hearty, "Objection, Your Honor!" at this statement. Since when do guys not fully appreciate and hope for the best oral attention they've ever gotten? Does he mean "pro" as in, she used to be a prostitute? Okay, that I understand, even though, I mean, everyone deserves a second chance, and all. But still. A fully-functioning, hetero male doesn't want his girl to be really, really, really good at head? Something in the milk ain't clean.

"Your mind starts to wonder, 'She’s a little TOO GOOD at this, Damn! How many times has she practiced?'”

Color me naive, but I was under the impression that if a guy is receiving mind-blowing head, what on earth could he possibly be thinking except "I'm in love!" and not, as this blogger seems to think, an accusatory, "why is she so good at this?" Who the hell cares? She's good and she's being gracious enough to share her skills with you, and here you are complaining. Just plain ungrateful.

"Guys, have you ever been with a woman that you really liked and she did something while making love that made you look at her a little different?"

What ever happened to "to each his own"? If there is any place where this statement holds true, it is in the bedroom, people! What, her tastes are a little more kinky, imaginative, or, heaven forbid, a little different than yours, and suddenly she's some sort of nympho freak? Seems a little closed-minded to me. And frankly, a little misogynistic. This piece takes me back to the days where women were expected to accept and suffer through sex as opposed to being willing participants, or--heaven forbid!--have wide and varying tastes and experience levels.

Not to mention, no sane woman would EVER think, "Holy shiz. He's really good at 'lingus. I don't like where this is going."

Get the HELL out of here.

6 comments:

SocialTyrant said...

Here here, girl! If any guy's mind is able to wander during oral to think about WHY she might be as good as she is, then clearly it isn't as good as he first thought!

(vixenchick) said...

I hate when guys say/think stupid stuff like that. WTF!

Lucky said...

ST: Exactly! That made no sense to me whatsoever.

VC: Just confirmed my suspicions that men might, in fact, be crazy..

DBaby said...

as one of your college aged male friends, and fully functioning hetero males that u mentioned earlier, I can say that while we really don't want a girl who has a rep of being a whore, the claims in that blog are a bit ridiculous. Personally, I don't wanna have to coach my girl through oral times. But interesting post though.

Lucky said...

Dbaby: That's all I'm saying, is that this guy is a little unreasonable.

Kaitlin said...

LOL! i sooo agree with you, lucky and socialtyrant says it right as well.

that guy who wrote that entry must be pretty mixed up. :p