Sunday, August 31, 2008

I'm Over It

Better get this one fast because my libations are painfully wearing off. And so come the gloves.

I'm embarrassed that the first thing I wanted to do was call you. Something I didn't have the courage to do sober. But all that did was make me sadder. I should have learned my lesson the last time.

You probably doesn't care about me. Frankly, you probably don't even think about me. And guess what? That fucking hurts. Don't get me wrong. I'm embarrassed that I think about you. I hate it. I hate it and I hate you. I don't care what anyone says about closure and moving on and not giving someone your time or emotion. As of now, I just about hate you. And it took numerous amounts of drink to allow me to admit it, but I really do hate you for what you did and how you made me feel. I hate that I'm hot, sleepy, half-drunk, sad, and alone. It doesn't make me weak or any less of a woman to say that I miss you and hate you at the same time. Because I do.

I have no faith in men. None at all. Any of them. Except for a choice few, most of whom are related to me.

Again, tomorrow if I come to my senses, I might take this post down. If you missed it, you didn't need to know.


(vixenchick) said...

Don't take this down, Lucky! I like this side of you. It makes me love you even more.


Bobby_2010 said...

Keep this up!! If this is how you felt at the time, you should definitely be willing to express it! This seems so real....not just some fluff!

Lucky said...

Urgh. I feel queasy just looking at this post! But I can't run from it I guess, I have to grow a pair and just deal with it, huh?

XO (an extra XO for VC!)

(vixenchick) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
(vixenchick) said...

Lucky Lucky Lucky! I love you for life! Xoxoxo!

Dope Fiend said...

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about here.
Dont ever be ashamed of your emotions, when you put urself into something and it all falls down, you're allowed to be hurt and you're allowed to express it!

Glad u didnt drunk dial girl, i know my dumb ass would have. lol


Lucky said...

DF: welcome!

I like what you said about being allowed to be hurt-sometimes in trying to be all "Alpha Woman" I think I (and prolly others) lose sight of that