Friday, September 5, 2008

The Ice Cream Wasn't Even That Good

In my 19 years of living, I have lost many things. Money, my favorite gray sweatshirt, a new pair of jeans, a flatiron, my dignity, what have you. Some of these, thankfully, were found (the flatiron, sometimes the money), some still come and go (my dignity), and some are never to be found (that sweatshirt, those jeans, and yes, sometimes the money). Now I can add another "gone forever" thing to that list: my beloved Blackberry Curve.

That's right. My practically BRAND-NEW Blackberry with the adorable blue skin, is now sitting in the hands of some theiving asshole who must have scooped it up at the outdoor ice cream joint where I probably left it. As Cali Girl put it, "I hope whoever took it gets cancer from the phone's rays." This is why we are friends.

Firstly, it's my cell phone. My email. My lifeline. My instant connection to Dlisted. But aside from that, we all know how badly I wanted that phone. I worked lo-o-ong hours at VS, including two grueling graveyard shifts, to save up for it. And now my nicely laid-out plan to keep that phone until it turned to dust has been rudely thwarted by some jackass who will probably sell it because he is too lazy to find a respectable form of income and has to resort to stealing phones from innocently absent-minded college students. And I don't think I have insurance so you know the parentals were not pleased, to say the least.

My long day spent in high heels, tight jeans, 1,000-degree weather, and various annoyances was already going sour and I should have just gone home but I didn't. And now I'm phoneless. Maybe this is God's way of telling me not to be materialistic or to follow my instincts more often (if I'd listened to my gut and went straight home like I'd wanted to, this post would be upbeat twitter about my new semi-haircut).

Can I just say that yes I know it is just a phone and I may be exaggerating. But it was MY phone. MINE. That I helped PAY for. And also I am possessive.

Fare thee well, my little Blackberry. No, scratch that. Unless whoever took you turned you off for the night but intends on returning you to your rightful owner (ie, me) first thing in the morning, I hope you combust and explode violently in his or her very hands.

You know, in solidarity to me.

7 comments:

(vixenchick) said...

Awww...my baby Lucky...I'm sorry babe. Sending love your way.

DBaby said...

OMG I hope the bastard who stole it catches a venereal disease and his dick falls off, or her twat implodes. Nothing but sincerity in this post.

Bobby_2010 said...

I hope you get another one, but maybe we should stop speaking things into folks lives...even if they are murderers!(my logic: if you'll lie, then you'll steal, then you'll kill, so therefore, if you lie, you will kill...and are therefore a murderer!!)

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

I feel ur pain. The loss of a phone is up there in thhe list of life's traumatic experiences.

May the thief lose an eyebrow in a tragic freak wax/razor accident.

Lucky said...

Thanks, errbody. Without my phone, it's like I'm on my own little reclusive island. But it's kind of okay. They know me here.

Afrodite said...

Awwwwww! Aint that about a bitch. I want a Blackberry Curve but me thinks I can't afford the monthly bill so I may have to stick with the good ol' Blackberry Pearl.

Lucky said...

I just want anything starting with "Black" and ending with "berry"! LOL but actually not the Pearl the Curve's screen is bigger and I'm nearsighted than a mutha...